For those who missed it, this is exactly what Elora said to Simone tonight on Bach in Paradise.

If you found yourself with little else to do on your Sunday evening than watch a couple of reality stars battle it out for another well, reality star, you may have also found yourself a little perplexed.

You see, when Simone and Elora on Bachelor in Paradise fired a few, shall we say, shots at each other in the aftermath of Simone’s date with Apollo, there was muchos fire, a lot of mumbling and not a heap of sense.

The crux was this: As they fought over Apollo, they also referenced an old fight about a guy they once fought over. Who also just happens to be a former Bachelorette contestant.

At one point, Elora says something about a couch and sex and something else that’s hard to decipher. Because not all superheroes wear capes etc, we obviously know what she said. (Yes, this is drama we wish we weren’t analysing. No, we probably won’t stop.)

It was this:

“Had I had a problem with you f*cking Courtney on my couch, I’d have stopped it right away.”

Michelle Andrews and I recap the glory that is Bachelor in Paradise.



Gasps. Is shocked. (Doesn’t gasp. Is not very shocked.)

Courtney, we contend, would be Courtney Dober from Georgia Love’s season of The Bachelorette and the couch? Well we’d bet the couch that housed the sex would be Elora’s.

What juice. What fun. What drama!

And while we’re here, does signing a contract on The Bachelor franchise come hand-in-hand with a list of Instagram handles of former contestants so you can quietly slide into their DMs and sext them?

Asking for a friend.