Weddings are a minefield.
From bridesmaid dress shopping to bridezilla antics and how much to put in the goddamn wishing well – they’re a headache. A flowery, pretty, frosted headache – sure – but a headache nonetheless.
Despite how much money and time weddings suck out of our lives, despite how much we read and research, we don’t know all the answers.
For example, these are the wedding etiquette rules we had no bloody idea existed…
1. The person walking you down the aisle must stand on the right side
We would say that said person needs to be “the father, brother or uncle” – but that’s total bullshit. And, you know, very sexist. Take whoever you damn well want down the aisle with you, we can report that fallopian tubes are in fact permitted.
“The bride always walks on the left side of her escort so that his right hand is free to draw his sword to protect her. As she walks towards the altar, she will be on her family’s side of the church for support, and as she returns on her new hubby’s arm, she will be on his side of the church, symbolically being introduced into his family.”
So make sure your aisle chaperone brings their favourite sword, okay? Okay.
2. No engagement party gifts are necessary
This was a surprising one.