Weddings are a minefield.
From bridesmaid dress shopping to bridezilla antics and how much to put in the goddamn wishing well – they’re a headache. A flowery, pretty, frosted headache – sure – but a headache nonetheless.
Despite how much money and time weddings suck out of our lives, despite how much we read and research, we don’t know all the answers.
For example, these are the wedding etiquette rules we had no bloody idea existed…
1. The person walking you down the aisle must stand on the right side
We would say that said person needs to be “the father, brother or uncle” – but that’s total bullshit. And, you know, very sexist. Take whoever you damn well want down the aisle with you, we can report that fallopian tubes are in fact permitted.
“The bride always walks on the left side of her escort so that his right hand is free to draw his sword to protect her. As she walks towards the altar, she will be on her family’s side of the church for support, and as she returns on her new hubby’s arm, she will be on his side of the church, symbolically being introduced into his family.”
So make sure your aisle chaperone brings their favourite sword, okay? Okay.
2. No engagement party gifts are necessary
This was a surprising one.
According to the wedding experts at Brides.com, giving your girlfriend a present at her engagement party is absolutely not mandatory.
“The good news is, engagement gifts are not required, no matter how fancy the celebration… Nowadays, it’s common for guests to bring a gift to an engagement party, but it’s usually something small and sentimental. Don’t feel pressured to give an elaborate or expensive gift. If you wish to bring a gift, you can, but bring it to the gathering itself.”
No complaints here.
Listen: Jessie Stephens thinks the Royal Wedding is going to be a waste of money. (Post continues…)
3. If you know someone can’t attend, don’t send them an invitation ‘just to be polite’
Actually, trying to make the person feel involved is the worst thing you can do – because sending the formal invite stipulates that you expect a gift.
“You don’t want people to think they have to give a gift even though they cannot attend,” the etiquette aficionados at Real Simple said.
“If someone lets you know that they have a conflict, don’t follow up with an invitation. In the case of very close friends and family, you may want to send an invitation anyway with a note that explains you are sending it as a keepsake.”
4. It’s inappropriate to divulge the nitty-gritty details about your engagement ring
“No one needs to know about cost and carat,” Simone Hill from TheKnot.com said.
Alluding to the value of your wedding jewellery is a bad look, Hill argued, even if your friends and social media followers are dying to know.