Warning: This post deals with suicide. Contact Lifeline (13 11 14) or beyondblue (1300 22 4636) if it brings up issues for you.
“Ask for help.”
Well, that’s what everyone says. It’s great to ask for help, but what happens when you do and you feel like you just got given a massive slap in the face? Just pushed to the side? Passed on to the next doctor or health care department? People don’t want to say the wrong thing, they don’t want to hurt the little feelings you have left. The people that often can take the pain away (the “professionals”) have often seen a case like yours a million times before.
A few weeks before I tried to take my own life I was seeing a GP. She had referred me to a psychologist and put me on antidepressants. The psychologist had a waiting list which felt like a mile long and the antidepressants that were prescribed just weren’t a good fit. The little bit of sleep I was getting was taken away as soon as I tried this certain antidepressant. I was awake for days, not eating or drinking. I was just lying in a dark room wishing the pain away. So, I went back to this GP, I was taken off the antidepressants and put on to another one. I was also given a prescription for two sleeping tablets. Yes – two individual tablets – not two different types of tablets. I was so highly strung at this point the sleeping tablets didn’t work and trying another antidepressant felt hopeless, but I did it away.
Monique Bowley, Mia Freedman and Jessie Stephens discuss what you’re meant to do when it comes to mental health crises on Mamamia out Loud. Post continues below.
After being on the new antidepressants for a few days I said to my Mum, “you have to take me to the hospital, if you don’t I’m going to do something”. She knew exactly what that meant and off we went.
Top Comments
In my own training in mental health we were informed that a person might need to try quite a number of different types of medications before hitting on the one that is right for them. This is because it it believed that there are a number of different causes for depression and suicidal thoughts and behaviour, and the medications work differently. Because we can't look inside the brain to see what is going on, it isn't possible to determine which is the speculated cause, and therefore which medication will have a desired effect. So you have to try them out one by one. So there is definitely a point to trying another medication if the one you were on didn't work. But because you were feeling so terrible and hopeless, I can see why that made you feel there was no point.
It's also not known if the cause of the problem is even organic (biological, chemical imbalance) in nature, or from some other reason or combination of reasons. Unresolved grief, stress, faulty thinking, abuse, lack of positive or affirmative experiences, negative environments, and many other things can result in psychological harm and reinforce depressed feelings.
Then there are at least eleven different eleven different psychological approaches to dealing with mental health problems that do not involve medication, but a patient might need to be on effective medication to be able to participate in them. Then there is the matter of finding a professional that you like and trust. It is not out of the question that a person might have to also try a number of people, the same as with the medications. Doctors and nurses are not well trained in mental health, but sometimes there will be one that has a knack for helping people in these situations.
If a hospital sends someone away who presents there with suicidal ideation, then that is culpable, and the treatment saying you only need a good night sleep was inadequate to say the least. Our public health system is down the tubes.
Definitely know the struggle to get help. Found from experience that if I know I'm feeling seriously suicidal... I have to exaggerate how im feeling and often times ilI' have to present as if I had been about to go through with my suicidal thoughts and was only just stopped by ( insert person here)