“Ask for help.”
Well, that’s what everyone says. It’s great to ask for help, but what happens when you do and you feel like you just got given a massive slap in the face? Just pushed to the side? Passed on to the next doctor or health care department? People don’t want to say the wrong thing, they don’t want to hurt the little feelings you have left. The people that often can take the pain away (the “professionals”) have often seen a case like yours a million times before.
A few weeks before I tried to take my own life I was seeing a GP. She had referred me to a psychologist and put me on antidepressants. The psychologist had a waiting list which felt like a mile long and the antidepressants that were prescribed just weren’t a good fit. The little bit of sleep I was getting was taken away as soon as I tried this certain antidepressant. I was awake for days, not eating or drinking. I was just lying in a dark room wishing the pain away. So, I went back to this GP, I was taken off the antidepressants and put on to another one. I was also given a prescription for two sleeping tablets. Yes – two individual tablets – not two different types of tablets. I was so highly strung at this point the sleeping tablets didn’t work and trying another antidepressant felt hopeless, but I did it away.
Monique Bowley, Mia Freedman and Jessie Stephens discuss what you’re meant to do when it comes to mental health crises on Mamamia out Loud. Post continues below.
After being on the new antidepressants for a few days I said to my Mum, “you have to take me to the hospital, if you don’t I’m going to do something”. She knew exactly what that meant and off we went.
Mum told the nurse what had been happening and we were asked to take a seat and wait to see a doctor. A few hours went by and my name didn’t get called. Another couple of hours later and still nothing. On the seventh hour, a nurse came out and said there had been an emergency on the mental health ward and if I didn’t think I was in need to see a doctor I should probably go home.
So, we did just that.