'When my marriage ended, I hired a male escort. We ended up moving in together.'

After Kayla's second marriage broke down, she spent the next 12 months completely avoiding dating and relationships.

But when she decided to get back on the saddle, so to speak, she was only interested in one thing — sex

"I wasn't interested in a relationship at that time," says Kayla. "But I didn't want to go through dating sites and things like that looking for hookups."

So, she decided to hire a male sex worker. After doing some serious research online, she opted to choose her escort via a high-profile agency.

"I was looking for someone who had been escorting for a while as I thought they'd be trustworthy, and I also looked for professional photos."

After she'd made her selection and confirmed the booking, the nerves set in. 

"I was terrified. I'd booked a posh hotel — went the whole nine yards. I was doing my makeup and nearly cancelled because I felt nauseous with nerves."

But after Aiden* arrived, it didn't take long for those nerves to disappear. 

"Let's just say he is exceptionally good at what he does. It was my first experience with an escort and I didn't realise that what I experienced is not the norm. It was the first time in my entire life that I felt like I owned my own sexuality and that it was okay to enjoy sex, to experience a true orgasm and a mind blowing orgasm."

Although she knew what had happened was essentially a business transaction, she felt drawn to the man who'd just rocked her world. 


"I felt liberated and desired, something I hadn't felt in a long time," she says. "I saw him as a client four times before I twigged that what our experiences were and what's normal are very different."

At the time, Kayla assumed the constant texting and regular phone calls were all part of the service, her escort's attempt to build a strong client-provider relationship. Around three months after her first service, Aiden revealed to Kayla that he had real feelings for her. 

"That's when I realised the flirty text messages weren't a business transaction. Like I said, he's good at what he does and I honestly thought that was normal. I had nothing to lose, so I decided to give it a go. If it didn't work, I could walk away."

From the beginning, there was no pretence of sexual monogamy — Aiden was a sex worker after all. 

Watch: 'Australia's most sexually active woman', Annie Knight on No Filter. Post continues below.

Video via Mamamia.

"We definitely had a conversation about his work. I never expected him to be sexually monogamous, but we both agreed that emotional monogamy was important in our relationship.


"I also enjoyed the freedom of having my own time due to our working different hours, which was something that I didn't want to give up as I love that aspect of being single."

As they settled into a relationship, there were many aspects that made Kayla and Aiden just like any other couple. 

"We lived together and shared our finances," says Kayla. 

"We had pets and shared Christmas and birthdays with each other's families. We did things that everyday couples do — good food, live theatre, movies, concerts, trips away. We had some common interests and completely different interests too, but most importantly, there was emotional commitment."

But it wasn't all conventional either, not least of all because of the sexual non-monogamy. 

"Overnight bookings with clientele while the other wasn't working and sleeping like a baby knowing your partner is having sex with someone else, sexual exploration that many would see as beyond their boundaries, for example foursomes, BDSM etc, and time apart due to work commitments that was longer than other relationships I've been in."

But Kayla did enjoy some of the benefits one might expect from dating someone with that much experience in the business of pleasure. 

"I learnt a lot about myself and my sexuality. I also explored Tantra, which I discovered and love through the relationship. I became a Tantric priestess and while I'm not practising at the moment in that role, Tantra has taught me to let go of deep-seated emotional scars and to love the woman I am."


After meeting Aiden, Kayla spent some time working in the sex industry herself, and says she learnt a lot about consent — in all areas. 

"Not just sexual consent. On so many levels it helped me understand and enforce my own boundaries in all areas, after pleasing others who overstepped my boundaries for most of my life."

While the couple ultimately separated, Kayla says it was less to do Aiden's work, and more to do with their age difference, and general incompatibility. 

"I'm super clean and organised, he's not; he's willing to take risks — like driving fast for example — that I'm not comfortable with. This comparability is ultimately what drove us apart."

But Kayla says, she doesn't regret a thing, and still considers their relationship once of her most treasured memories. 

"I was very much in love. Being worshipped in every way by a man who not only has the sexual prowess that other men only dream of, he understands that a woman needs emotional love in all ways. If a man shows affection in small ways every day, then their partner will be much happier in their relationship."

*names have been changed.

Feature Image: Getty.