I admit that I have done it.
I’m almost scared to admit that.
So many excuses as to why.
So many justifications when I, as a journalist had read the data and knew the information.
But still I did it.
And now I confess to you.
Why did I do it? I was tired.
It made my life easier.
It let me get through the day.
And with a newborn baby ANYTHING that gets you through the day – you take.
So I did it – I co-slept.
I clearly remember the first time. I was in hospital with my first-born son and I nodded off in the chair breastfeeding, I woke with a start several hours later terrified I had smothered my two-day-old son.
The midwives castigated me. I felt terrible… and yet weeks later it happened again. I didn’t mean it to. My son was feeding two hourly. He was underweight and jaundice.
So many excuses.
It wasn’t a conscious decision – it wasn’t even a deliberate ‘parenting’ style. It just happened.
Last year an article on Mamamia about co-sleeping caused great controversy for its inherent message that co-sleeping was more for the mother than the baby.
When I think back – co-sleeping WAS about me.
But I also think that keeping me sane was probably a fairly important part of parenting three small children.