HUSH DOWN THE BACK.
We need to talk about the one person in every family who is ruining Christmas for the children.
And by the children we mean for us personally.
Don’t worry – the Christmas f*ckeruperer isn’t here. They would never read a story about Christmas etiquette because they’re too busy buying presents for the wrong people and ensuring they’re four hours late.
You see, Paul* tells the host he’ll be bringing the fruit, and then shows up with four chickens and half a bottle of diet coke.
And he doesn’t even drink diet coke. He puts it down and then asks grandpa where the beers are at.
Paul’s never hosted Christmas, but he has some strong ideas about the catering and would like to bring his partner Melanie along this year even though she starts fights with everyone.
Everyone waits for him to eat, but when he shows up at 4.30pm he laughs that he ate on the way and WHERE WERE YOU PAUL? WHY ARE YOU SO LATE?
Mamamia Out Loud is the podcast with what women are talking about. We discuss this week what you’re certainly not allowed to do at a Christmas party, along with the alleged Fortnite assault, and why seals are suddenly snorting eels. Post continues below.
So, as a passive aggressive note to Paul, here are the four Christmas party rules that everyone ought to abide by (FFS).
1. Show up on time.
Give or take 15 minutes.
Not 12 hours.
If a party starts at one, get there at one. Not 9pm.