Chris Martin throws Gwyneth a birthday party.




Just to prove that they are the best at being exes EVER, Chris Martin has reportedly thrown Gwyneth Paltrow a birthday cocktail party.

Was the theme of the party ‘awkward sexual tension’? Yep.

Was the main cocktail called ‘Conscious Uncoupling On The Beach’? Probably.

Was this the Happy Birthday song that Chris Martin sang?

Happy Birthday to you,
You’re turning 42,
I have a 24-year-old girlfriend,
But Happy Birthday to you.


Guests included Nicole Richie, Jennifer Aniston, Kate Hudson, and other famous people, plus  all of Gwynnie’s Goop people, probably baking some sugar-free, dairy-free, lactose-free, fun-free cakes and doling out lessons on how to make the perfect bed.

Martha Stewart was most likely not there. She’s been a bitch.

Apple was probably there. And Chris and Gwyneth’s other fruit, Moses.

But seriously, congrats to Chris and Gwyneth for being so amicable.

It’s the most conscious uncoupling we’ve ever seen.


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