opinion

'Please stop telling me I'd "make a great mum." Instead, respect my choice.'

“Oh, but you’d make a great mum!”

This is always the follow up to the declaration that I’m not having children.

I was in a long-term relationship. We had always spoken about having children and getting married. Then we turned 30 and became different people: I was loyal and loving. He was not.

It took a long time to heal and grow from the feelings of betrayal, and that’s when I made this decision. Well, I made a rule: If I wasn’t in a loving, committed relationship and pregnant by the age of 35, I wouldn’t be going down the motherhood route. I am at peace with my choice, and that’s what this is, my choice.

I am a firm believer that if you are good at something it doesn’t mean you should do it.

Let me explain. I know I would make a fantastic competitive eater, I never get full and can always eat. But does that mean I should eat my body weight in Bunnings hot dogs every Saturday?

Probably not.

Listen: Childless by choice – the last female taboo. Post continues below.

I have been successful at many things in my life, but they haven’t brought me overwhelming joy. This is how I feel about motherhood, for me. I am not a woman with a burning desire to have a mini-me running around. I am just too selfish, and I love my life.

Kids surround me. I’m blessed to be the fun aunt – I get to spoil them rotten, run around and yell and scream and play with them to give mum and dad a rest. I get to be the person their child confides in when they don’t feel comfortable being open and honest with them.

In turn, my friends and family know that I have their little bundle of joy’s best interest at heart because I love them like they are my own. I have watched them grow up and develop.

I also get to give them back and then go home to my child-free existence and watch movies without interruption.

I enjoy the fact that I can go to a new restaurant for dinner every night of the week and not have to worry about getting home in time for the bedtime routine.

I love that when my girlfriends have a child and husband-free weekend, I’m the first person they call.

You want Bloody Marys with breakfast followed by a mani/pedi? Easy.

Need a night on the couch with a face mask, pizza and a Real Housewives marathon? Girl, I got you.

I’m grateful for the freedom that my lifestyle presents me – I am only responsible for myself and that is already a full-time job.

So, yes, I know I’d make a great mum… but please respect my choice when I express it.

Feature Image: Getty.

00:00 / ???