The author of this post has chosen to remain anonymous, but their identity is known to Mamamia. The image used above is a stock photo.
You dream of the moment you’ll be free. Free from the humiliation. Free from asking yourself, ‘What was so wrong with me?’ Free from believing you weren’t pretty enough. That you had some deficit in your personality. That it actually was about you…
We were together four years. My first love had just shattered my juvenile heart in a way that a first love does. I was on the rebound, and he was always nearby offering a shoulder to cry on. The friend that turned into a trustworthy lover, perhaps a little too quickly for my gentle heart.
I know I struggled to give my all to him for fear of being hurt again. Perhaps he always felt that.
Sophie Monk talks to Mamamia about cheating. Post continues below.
Then the shock of a wedding proposal came after two years. Him on bended knee before me with a glistening diamond ring and an audience of tourists around a waterfall. How could I say no, even though my gut was silently whispering it?
Days sailed by and I can honestly say I grew happier. What girl doesn’t get happily lost in planning a wedding?
His dream was to be a surgeon. I knew the years of study that would entail, yet I was happy to work around his dream, as a lot of supportive partners do.
His dream led him to another city so we only were only able to see each other on weekends, which wasn’t actually a bad thing because we weren’t living together anyway. I remained at the job I enjoyed in the hopes of saving enough for a deposit to buy a home in the city he was studying in. I thought that was the mutual plan.
Until he met a fellow student. A pretty student. Much prettier than me, with a cuter voice. He made me listen to her voicemail.
She started driving him to the station on Friday afternoons so he could make his way home to see me.
He would write letters to me in lectures. She would add to them.
He would message me from her phone.
I trusted him and honestly thought nothing of it. I was happy he had made a new friend other than the boys in his student share house. She seemed to embrace that he was engaged. She too was in a long term relationship, so I had no reason not to trust her.
When the end was near, I felt it. He told me that she was confiding in him about her relationship breaking down. I actually felt sorry for her.