Images via Depression is not Destiny and Thinkstock.
Have you ever been through one of those terrible relationships or break-ups that leave you doubting whether or not you’ll be able to trust someone again?
I have. And so have countless other people. In fact, fear of trusting someone again is such a common reaction to being hurt in love that it has its own name: pistanthrophobia.
As anyone who’s been through it will agree, it’s a very difficult thing to get over. However, if you want to be in a happy, healthy relationship again, then you do need to overcome it. The four suggestions below helped me, and I think they’ll also help you get past the things which are holding you back from a brighter future.
1. Don’t assume that the future will be the same as the past
My first proper relationship ended when I found out that my girlfriend was cheating on me with one of my best mates; then afterwards—perhaps to get back at me for breaking up with her—it got back to me that she’d been spreading rumours about me. I was shattered. Combined with some other things that were taking place in my life, the experience plunged me into a crippling and near fatal depression, and my ability to trust another girl was destroyed.
Over the next few years, I brought my pistanthrophobia with me on every date I went on, and suffice it to say, there weren’t a lot of second dates. My inability to trust another girl was ruining any chance I had of being in a functional relationship, and I wondered if I’d ever be able to overcome it and make things work with a woman.
Eventually however, I started seeing a therapist for my depression. Everything that happened with my ex inevitably came up, and my psychologist gave me a piece of advice that helped me immensely:
“Don’t cast dispersions on the entire female population because of one bad experience with one bad girl.”