I still remember the first time I saw him.
I was eating an early morning burrito and he was slurring his words in the back seat of his limousine.
He was deeply-tanned, a shade of rich orange-y brown that’s usually reserved for cow hides.
His hair was oily, his clothes slightly worn. I knew he smelt a little and I kind of liked it.
Mamamia Out Loud discuss the Bradley Cooper conundrum and what it’s all really about. Post continues below.
Although I had no idea what this weirdly-tanned, slurry-worded man was saying, I was immediately curious about him.
This is him.
Like most people attracted to men, Bradley Cooper's Jackson Maine in A Star Is Born was more than just a movie character to me.
He represented a universal truth.
You see, we've all had at least one Jackson Maine in our lives. Our twenties are probably full of them. Men who we're incredibly attracted to, who represent adventure, who are probably a little bit dangerous, and are never a good idea.
These men motivate all our bad decisions. They make us flaky friends. They steal all our money and buy pot with it. They're always late. They always smell a little.
They're Bradley Cooper in the gutter at the end of a long night, and they're looking at us like they're the only person in the world who gets us.
And despite all the evidence that they're a terrible choice of partner, we keep going back to them, time and time again.
But eventually, somewhere in our thirties, we start to desire a different kind of man - a Bradley Cooper on the red carpet, if you will.