celebrity

Which Bradley Cooper you like says everything about you.

I still remember the first time I saw him.

I was eating an early morning burrito and he was slurring his words in the back seat of his limousine.

He was deeply-tanned, a shade of rich orange-y brown that’s usually reserved for cow hides.

His hair was oily, his clothes slightly worn. I knew he smelt a little and I kind of liked it.

Mamamia Out Loud discuss the Bradley Cooper conundrum and what it’s all really about. Post continues below. 

Although I had no idea what this weirdly-tanned, slurry-worded man was saying, I was immediately curious about him.

This is him.

bradley cooper wife

Like most people attracted to men, Bradley Cooper's Jackson Maine in A Star Is Born was more than just a movie character to me.

He represented a universal truth.

You see, we've all had at least one Jackson Maine in our lives. Our twenties are probably full of them. Men who we're incredibly attracted to, who represent adventure, who are probably a little bit dangerous, and are never a good idea.

These men motivate all our bad decisions. They make us flaky friends. They steal all our money and buy pot with it. They're always late. They always smell a little.

They're Bradley Cooper in the gutter at the end of a long night, and they're looking at us like they're the only person in the world who gets us.

And despite all the evidence that they're a terrible choice of partner, we keep going back to them, time and time again.

But eventually, somewhere in our thirties, we start to desire a different kind of man - a Bradley Cooper on the red carpet, if you will.

bradley cooper wife
Image: Getty.
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This fella is a little more straight-laced. He's more clean-cut. He doesn't slur his words or pee on stage during an international telecast.

He's the kind of guy who's comfortable talking about mortgages and school pick up and picking out cushions at IKEA.

Your mum loves him.

He smells like he showers at least once a day and also washes his own clothes.

Some might say he's a little boring, but we prefer reliable.

Bradley Cooper on the red carpet is the kind of man we marry. He's the kind of man we grow old with. He's the kind of man who doesn't disappear for days on end only to resurface with a random "U up?" text.

He's also sometimes the kind of man who has a mid-life crisis and turns into Bradley Cooper in the gutter. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

However, no matter how happy we are with our Bradley Cooper on the red carpet, we'll always hold a special place in our hearts (and in our pants) for the Bradley Coopers in the gutter.

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