kids

I let my mum set me up with a guy from her work and he turned out to be... such a catch. 

I’m just going to preface this story by declaring that my mum, who I love dearly and count as one of my best friends, has absolutely zero chill when it comes to being a wing woman.

We are a very tight-knit family, which often means we become… quite involved in each other’s lives.

Over the years, my siblings’ partners have embraced the closeness of our family; just before he proposed, my sister’s fiance started working for the same company as mum, and my brother’s girlfriend has previously lived at my parents’ house part-time.

So when I moved back home for two months earlier this year, every Friday night was a party. A party at which I was the perpetual seventh wheel.

For the most part, I don’t mind being single – after too many dates from hell at times I think I actually prefer it.

But lately, my mum has become increasingly comfortable lovingly meddling in my dating life by attempting to set me up.

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Many of you will think this sounds like a nightmare – but I can’t help but find it funny. If anything, it’d be a much better story than meeting someone on Tinder.

So when mum told me she’d met ‘the perfect guy for me’ at work a few weeks back, I wasn’t surprised to learn he’d scored an invite to brunch at my parents’ house the very weekend I’d planned a visit home.

What a coincidence.

I knew to expect a slightly awkward encounter (see above – no chill), but I didn’t expect him to be… such a catch.

Save for a brief Facebook stalk at the airport I didn’t know much about the man my mother had dubbed ‘so my type’, so when a very handsome 6 ft-something, 30-year-old French-Canadian engineer who we’ll call Sam* showed up at the front door, I was pleasantly surprised, and a little nervous.

Initially, I took a seat at the opposite end of the table – allowing him to mingle with other guests and giving me time to prepare myself. And by prepare myself I mean knock back a couple of glasses of bubbles.

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As the morning carried on, and the fifth empty champagne bottle was disposed of, people strategically moved around the table until Sam and I were sat next to each other. Seamless.

The banter was great – he was playful, funny and charming. I was drunk.

We bonded over our experiences living overseas, the fact that we’re both middle children, and our similar tastes in music.

One of the only things we didn’t have in common is that he – a bike rider, surfer and hiking enthusiast – lives a very active lifestyle, and I… do not. I struggle with the stairs at work.

Every now and then I’d look up to see my mum and sister listening to our conversation intently and exchanging excited looks while my brother mouthed at them from the other side of the table to “be cool”.

But nothing, I repeat, nothing, about being set up by your mum is cool.

At one point, my sister drunkenly shouted from down the end of the table, “HAVE YOU GUYS EXCHANGED NUMBERS YET?” which was mortifying, but when Sam quipped back in his thick French accent: “Not yet – we’re just planning our wedding”, I was relieved he saw the funny side of it all.

At one point I asked if he realised mum’s brunch invitation was a set-up, to which he replied with a laugh: “Yes… she’s been talking about you a lot at work.”

Good god.

The entire experience was, undoubtedly, extremely cringe-worthy for both of us – but we didn’t stop laughing about it the whole morning.

We did indeed exchange numbers, and he texted me almost straight after brunch.

…He’s also on the hunt for a bow tie to wear to my sister’s wedding next month.

*Names have been changed for the future success of my dating life.

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