BREAKING BACHELOR NEWS, PEOPLE.
It’s been reported that Channel Ten has CANCELLED ALL INTERVIEWS with the Bach and his chosen one after tonight’s final.
Is that because he didn’t even choose anyone?
Is that because he got rejected?
Is he so dejected and lonely that he doesn’t want to talk to anyone, even Sandra Sully?
Holy Crap guys, after all this… Bachie could end up single!!
Tonight is the final episode of The Bachelor and the whole nation is dying to see who Blake chooses.
Could it be that the honeymoon is over before it’s even begun? Channel 10 has (just now) pulled all interviews with Blake and the winning Bachelorette, which could mean shit’s going down people!
THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING US. But guess what? Luckily for you guys, we have an interview with Bachie Blake in the bank.
With all the dramas this week, and then all the cancelling, you have to read this.
Maybe you can squeeze out the juice:
MM: Did you watch past season’s of The Bachelor? Did you ever think you’d be on the show yourself?
Bachie: Only ever caught glimpses while walking past the TV, so not really, and definitely never thought I’d be on the show.
MM: Did you ever feel awkward on the group dates?
Bachie: Not at all, group dates are fun, single dates are fun and romantic. Group dates are all about us all just hanging out, seeing what we’re like in different situations, and just having some silly fun.
(REALLY, BACHIE? Half the time, they look seriously, brow-sweatingly awkward.)
MM: We are all big Bachelor fans in the office – did you ever read Rosie’s recaps of The Bachelor? #DirtyStreetPie
Bachie: As often as I can and I find them #HeTouchedHisEye hilarious! Now you’ll have to please excuse me while I go back to having some much needed forehead sex.
(TEN POINTS for Bachie. And TEN POINTS for Rosie.)Ummm… Thanks?
MM: Did you ever call past Bachelor Tim for advice? Or Hugh Hefner? Or George Clooney?
Bachie: No, no and no. I want to get through this on my own. If I’m going to make mistakes, then so be it. I’ll learn by them. Or I’ll just fail hilariously on national television. Win/win?
MM: Did you ever get pricked by one of the rose thorns? They look weirdly smooth. Does someone have a job to de-thorn roses?
Bachie: Someone does have a job to de-thorn the roses! Usually Johnny from Art Department.
(TEN POINTS to Johnny from Art Department. Smooth. Literally.)
MM: Are you going to avoid touching your eye for the rest of your life? Or feel paranoid when a woman touches hers in front of you? Did you actually have an itchy eye??
Bachie: Haha! I did it recently while having a conversation with someone and they laughed and said yelled “You’re not taking me seriously!!”. Seriously, I actually had an itchy eye. Funny thing is I had a feeling Laurina would take it another way, which is why I didn’t scratch it for about 60 seconds. I caved in when it started to water though.
MM: How often do you eat Dirty Street Pies?
Bachie: Breakfast, lunch and dinner. And sometimes for dessert.
(THREE AND A HALF POINTS. One for each DSP.)
MM: Did you ever consider just taking several wives at once?
Bachie: No but wow, that’d make everything so much easier wouldn’t it? #MakeItHappenRosie
(PROBABLY NOT IN ROSIE’S POWER… but maybe ask Sandra Sully.)
MM: Will you come and hang out with us in the Mamamia office? Will you bring us roses and Dirty Street Pies?
Bachie: Depends, can I bring Osher’s hair with me? We’ve pretty much become BFF’s after all this. If so, it’s a deal.
Deal, Bachie. Definitely a deal. Also, bring your new fiancée.
WHICH ONE IS SHE?