The 3 words guaranteed to strike fear into any parent's heart: KIDS. BIRTHDAY. PARTY.

I know, it is way too early in the day to be discussing a topic as fraught as kids’ birthday parties.

This is more of a topic to be discussed calmly, late at night, and preferably with a wine in hand.

Because when it comes to kids’ parties, I’ve made every mistake possible – like that time I baked a cake in the shape of a ‘6’ but iced it as a ‘9’. My tears actually fell on that cake as I sliced it.

“When it comes to kids’ parties, I’ve made every mistake possible.”

My daughter’s birthday is coming up and she is obsessed with Frozen, My Little Pony and Disney Princesses. She has asked for four cakes. I told her no. So she asked if she could have two. I said no. So she asked for a My Little Pony cake and Frozen cupcakes and I reluctantly agreed.

Just as an FYI, you should know that this post is sponsored by My Little Pony. But all opinions expressed by the author are 100 per cent authentic and written in their own words.

But now that I’m doing some research into HOW to make a My Little Pony birthday cake for a little girl who is only turning six and is therefore still under the impression I am in control of things, I am feeling the cold sweat of fear starting to build on my brow.

How can it not, when images like this keep popping up on my computer?

Image via Pinterest – Jennifer Tabankin.

Because in my experience, the cold harsh reality of kids’ birthday cakes means my attempt is more likely to look like this:

birthday party fails
Image via

The problem is that Caterina is old enough to REMEMBER her birthday parties now. She can’t remember her party from last year, or the year before that. But now she is old enough to remember it, it’s also the first year she is inviting proper school friends who will be in her life for years to come and it’s the first year she’s had some very firm opinions about how she wants it to run.

She wants really good lolly bags.

Not the ones I put together for my son’s recent celebration which she said looked “lame”.

She would like cute invitations, preferably with glitter on them:

My Little Pony Party!

Instead of the ones I normally print off my computer that were good enough for her brothers:

“Lame” invitations like this one just won’t cut it in 2015, apparently.

Related: Everyone is invited. Except you.

She would like lots of games to be played.

She’s doesn’t want pass-the-parcel, due to a matter I cannot discuss as there is still a court date pending.

She wants lots of food. She’s a fan of elaborate sugary creations thanks to YouTube and wants these teeth-killers to be served:

My daughter demands sugary perfection.

And won’t be satisfied with the likes of these:

birthday party fails
#NailedIt. Image via

And the cake. The cake! Which apparently I am not allowed to order from Michel’s as I have done previously, but need to bake and decorate myself (and let her lick the bowl).

Related: FUNNY: 10 things I’ve learned from children’s birthday parties.

I have tried to make cakes in the past. There was the time I tried to make a painter’s pallet for my son.

There’s the time I tried to make a clown face cake for my other son.

And there’s the time I tried to make a cupcake tower. Timber…..

But I can do this right. Right?

I always say it’s about how the cake tastes, not looks, which is clearly a delusion I tell myself while rocking back and forth on the kitchen floor at 12.42am after pulling out a wonky cake with a mysterious hump in the middle that all the icing in the world can’t fix (unless I eat the icing as a form of self-medication, in which case it might help me temporarily).

The point is, kids, is that Mummy keeps trying. And one day, by the time you are turning 18 or 21 and about to leave home, I might just nail it.

Do you have any photos of birthday cake disasters? Or maybe your cakes have turned out beautifully? Okay, you can send those too.



My Little Pony is a world where friendship is magic. Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash and their pony Pals are all about, fun, friendship and adventures. Every pony is unique, and that’s what makes the friendships blossom. For more my little pony birthday party ideas, visit