By ZOE KRUPKA
Bettina Arndt is at it again. In an opinion piece she wrote this week, she returns to her position on the secret to heterosexual married bliss.
Apparently “The truly lucky man is blessed with a sexually generous woman, one who believes in taking one for the team.”
I won’t even go there with the unfortunate associations that little analogy calls up.
Spruiking the new female Viagra, fetchingly labelled Lybrido or Lybridos, Arndt is urging us once again to throw our undies in the ring and do what we can in the bedroom to keep our men from suffering sexual frustration. Even if it means taking a little pink pill to up our sexual ante. Even if it means completely ignoring some of the reasons we may have lost interest in the first place.
According to Arndt, “For every woman keen for a solution to her lost libido, there are others who wouldn’t dream of popping a little pink pill to enhance sexual desire. There are plenty of women happy to shut up shop, simply refusing to have sex – and expecting their husbands to just suck it up.”
Again with the unfortunate language she’s letting us know that not wanting sex is just not okay.
I think we need to feel our hackles rise whenever a pleasurable activity becomes compulsory. Despite what Fred Nile would like us to believe, sex is meant to be fun. When we have sex, it should never be a chore, an offering or a sacrifice.
From my vantage point as a counsellor, I don’t see much good coming from women offering sex when they don’t feel like it, and I don’t see men who feel great when their partners offer them a mercy shag. The fact is we all want to be wanted and we all suffer in some way when sex becomes some kind of relationship duty. But Arndt assures us with her characteristic pragmatism that “It’s not as if making love is such a big ask – it’s not like cleaning an oven.” If that doesn’t get you going, I don’t know what will.