Back in 2013, I was romantically involved with a married blogger who was in the middle of creating a non-profit group that was "spiritual but not religious."
He’d built himself a social media presence across multiple platforms and brought me in to help run Tumblr and Twitter while writing the occasional blog post.
He also decided to start doing these group video chats with Facebook page fans. For all of my introversion, I had fun getting to know people who had a connection to my secret boyfriend. There was a lot about our relationship (like the long-distance and his marital status) that made the whole thing feel unreal.
Watch: Emotional V.S. Physical affairs. Post continues below.
It was a fantasy, and to be clear, a bad romance, but I also believed it was love.
Early into the group video chats, I became friendly with one of his coworkers from his "real job" named Jenna, and a teenager named Hunter who knew my boyfriend from a few years back.
Jenna was several years younger than me (I was 31), and Hunter was in high school, yet the three of us got along well and enjoyed chatting after my boyfriend and the rest of the attendees left the video each week.
My boyfriend, however, was not a fan of the budding connection between me and his coworker.
“I don’t think you should be friends with Jenna,” he told me over text. “It’s weird.”
“What are you talking about?” She was his friend, and I thought it was a good thing to get along with his friends. “Oh, are you afraid I’m going to say the wrong thing?”
To this day, I’m still not sure why he didn’t just say yes. It would have been completely believable for him to say that he was afraid that my friendship with his coworker would wind up outing him and the fact that we were having an affair.