Raised in a repressed Catholic home, all I knew is those who had sex before marriage needed my prayers.
I was raised in a strict, Catholic home. Throughout my childhood, if there was a way to be involved in the church, my family was there. My sister and I were part of the church choir, altar servers, and teacher aides for the catechism classes my parents taught.
Every Halloween, if we wanted to trick-or-treat, they only allowed us to dress up as a nun or an angel as a protest for this “satanic holiday”. (The pictures are priceless, I must admit). Our family attended every weekend church retreat available, and we never missed a Sunday mass, even on vacation.
To say our family life revolved around religion is putting it lightly. The church was our one and only form of bonding as a family.
I still wonder, if they allowed other ways of bonding, would any of their four children still believe in God?
Because after all of this, not one of their kids attends mass, takes part in any religion, or plans to teach their future children about the church.
After all their effort, shaming, and guilt, not one of their children follows the religion they forced onto us. It’s quite sad; they could have put forth effort into creating fruitful relationships with their children instead of instilling shame for their salvation.
By the time high school came around, my outlook on sexuality and my body was crowded with confusion.
There were the things my parents had taught me…
“Masturbation is a ticket to hell. The naked human body is sinful.”
“My body is a temple made for God and the man who will marry me one day. No one will want to marry me if I am not a virgin.”
“Homosexuals are sinners because God didn’t create Adam and Steve, he created Adam and Eve.”
But then there were the things I felt. I kissed a girl in sixth grade and was convinced that I was not only a lesbian, but also going to hell. I masturbated as a teenager and then questioned my devotion to God.
I was confused, and I had no one to go to.
At the peak of my brainwashed outlook on sexuality, I was in my junior year of high school. I was filled with guilt over the things I felt because they differed from what my parents raised me to believe.
I was somewhere in the middle of devoted and departed from religion when my best friend called me one night.
The Mamamia team on how they lost their virginity. Post continues after video.