For as long as I can remember, my closest friend Donna* has always told me when it came to her wedding day, I would be her maid of honour. It’s one of those things you promise between friends and you plan years and years in advance.
I can safely say this is the line I’d been hearing for at least a decade. Donna and I were close friends from high school. We spent much of our 20s together and were pretty much inseparable.
When she got engaged however, I was away on a holiday overseas. Being contactable was really difficult and she didn’t manage to reach me for a good week to share the news with me. When I finally did receive the phone call, she was very unhappy with me.
She continued to tell me that it had put a dampener on the news that she wasn’t able to share it with me right away and that she couldn’t understand why I hadn’t made it a priority to try and get back to her when she had been trying to contact me.
I understood her frustrations, but at the same time I thought it was a bit unreasonable. I was in Europe without an active phone and only checked in on social media intermittently when I had access to free WiFi. I hadn’t purchased a SIM card overseas and I really wanted to enjoy my trip and not be glued to my phone.
Yet Donna still couldn’t seem to understand. After basically having a go at me she proceeded to ask me if I would like to be “part of the bridal party”. Those were her exact words. There was no mention of maid of honour or bridesmaid or anything like that.
Being one of my closest friends, I of course accepted, and even arranged for a gift to be sent to her work in a hope to smooth things over and make the entire situation less awkward. Yet I received no thanks, I wasn’t even told if it arrived.