This week, on advice podcast Dear Prudence produced by Slate, Mallory Ortberg read out loud a letter that left her asking, “What the actual hell?”

The letter read;

Image via Getty.

I'm not so sure what to do.

Holy. Sh*t.

WHO chooses their bridesmaids based on how much they weigh? And how they will look in the dress you've (already... ?) picked out? What kind of logic is that?

LISTEN: Mia Freedman, Monique Bowley and I discuss the horrifying letter on the latest episode of Mamamia Out Loud. Post continues below.

Ortberg called Jane "cruel and cowardly," and said, "I can't imagine having the kind of mindset where you think 'I want my wedding day to reflect my thinnest friendships'. How is that a value of yours?"

"What that says about her values as a person and the way she sees other people as having value... It's bad," she said.

'Bad' sounds like a rather significant understatement.

What is it about weddings that makes us want to shove four entirely different bodied woman into identical dresses? Like they're nuns? Or goddamn handmaids?

And here's the real kicker: Often the dress selected manages to look good onprecisely none of them.

Is there anything more political than bridesmaid dress shopping? Image via Universal.

The women you choose to have in your bridal party are not ornaments, or vectors to compliment you in your wedding photos. They're human beings, who nine times out of ten, do NOT want to wear strapless.

If weight, or indeed any part of someone's appearance is an 'issue' within a friendship, then that's no friendship at all.

There is no obligation to have bridesmaids, just as there is no obligation to get married in order to legitimise your relationship, but if you do so decide, then surely it's a good rule of thumb to put human beings before aesthetics.

As Maya Angelo famously said (and I have no doubt she was referring to bridal parties when she said it), "When someone shows you who they are believe them; the first time."

And Jane, unfortunately, is the actual worst.

You can listen to the full episode of Mamamia Out Loud, here.