I am not going to mince words here, becoming a mum has made me a really terrible friend.
I know a lot of mums also feel the same. I cancel things last minute, I bail from events early, I turn up late to everything and if I do manage to make it to a party, I miss the majority of it as I am busy chasing my kid around, making sure he doesn’t break anything or leave grubby fingerprints over their pristine white lounge, or he doesn’t drop sticky food remnants all throughout a child-free home. It is for this reason that I have slowly drifted away from my childless friends and have made a lot of new mum friends. Not only can we sit and bond over sleepless nights, the colour and consistency of poo, how crap our partners are at following our well established routines and how much we don’t care about the fact our kids eat McDonalds several times a week, but we also understand when we get a message cancelling our play date 10 minutes before we were meant to meet. We understand when we can make ourselves available after receiving a text at 8am saying, “hey, today is going good, I got out of bed and managed to feed the kid and actually brush my hair, let’s get coffee in an hour”.
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Don’t get me wrong, I still love all my old friends and very occasionally we do manage to line our schedules up so we can get lunch and catch up and it’s great. I miss them all terribly, but I am hopeless. I am hopeless because the other thing that happens when you become a mum is that you forget everything. As a mum, you have a million and one things on your mind at all times. You are juggling your child’s weekly classes and commitments, perhaps your own paid job, paying the bills on time, feeding the zoo, remembering to hang that load of washing out that you have had to put on the rinse cycle at least twice because you keep forgetting about it.