BC (before children), I had some fairly solid views of what kind of parent I was going to be. Or should I say, what kind of parent I wasn’t going to be.
I wasn’t, for instance, going to hog the footpath with my megapram and obstruct the path of pedestrians. I was never going to refer to my husband as ‘Dad’ when I spoke to him as his WIFE.
I was also NEVER going to be that mother that handed her daughter a Chupa Chup at the checkout so she would just STFU (shut the… you get the picture).
Because dear readers, I was, at this stage, still yet to be a parent.
Here are some other beliefs I held before I had children.
1. I was never going to turn into my own mother and say the following:
“Do you live in a tent? Shut the door behind you.”
“Because I said so!”
“Stop it or I’ll pull this car over and you can walk home!”
“There are children in Africa who are starving. Eat your dinner!”
“If your friend jumped off a cliff, would you?”
Turns out that these idle threats words straddle generations and are used within almost every family unit. I remember wondering, quite seriously as a kid, how I could package up my brussel sprouts and somehow get them to Zimbabwe. You need to know that your kids are thinking the exact same thing.
2. I would not talk freely about bodily functions.