Submissive wives are all the rage. The idea of letting your husband lead the way has obviously hit a sweet spot for some stressed-out women. But what’s it really like to be one?
When former Full House star Candace Cameron Bure released a book explaining her decision to be a submissive wife, she was slammed. What a pre-historic notion, to be subservient to your husband. However we here at iVillage are happy to explore any and every lifestyle choice. Who knows, there might just be something to this whole ‘submissive wife’ thing. Hey, we said ‘might’.
So, it turns out that the philosophy behind this whole submissive wife thing is strength, not weakness. It's not about service, or being timid. It's about making the decision to have a truly contented marriage.
Not convinced? Christian website Reason4Living does a much better job of explaining it than we ever could:
A submissive wife is one who makes a choice not to resist her husband's will. That is not to say that she cannot disagree with him or that she cannot express an opinion. Indeed the submissive wife is, by definition, a strong woman and will usually therefore have her own opinions and these may often be different to the opinions of her husband. Can she express them? Of course she can, and indeed it might often be wrong for her not to express them since she is, after all, supposed to be her husband's helper, not his slave or doormat. Expressing her opinions and giving advice and suggestions will often be a valuable part of the help that she gives her husband.
So, we thought we'd take a look at the typical day in the life of a submissive wife:
A submissive wife wakes up before her family, to get ready for the day ahead. She'll get dressed first so her husband wakes up to an attractive, well-groomed wife who is calm and in control. She'll then make sure the house is tidy and pack bags and lunches for her children and her husband.
A submissive wife will prepare breakfast for her family so as they wake up they can eat a healthy and delicious meal to start the day.
At no time does she seem disorganised, rushed, or lose her temper.
Her husbands clothes for the day are washed, ironed and hung up ready for him. After breakfast, just before he leaves for work, she leaves him with a kiss and a smile, telling him to have a great day.
Once her husband leaves for work and the children are at school a submissive wife will use her morning to run errands vital to the smooth running of the family. She'll drop off and pick up dry cleaning, grocery shop, attend to her own needs like hair and nails and have everything done by lunch time.
A submissive wife should never grocery shop while her husband is at home with the children. She'll make sure all errands are completed while he is at work so that when he gets home they spend that time together. He doesn't need to help her with any errands or with any of the cooking and cleaning, unless he wants to. She runs the house smoothly and efficiently, leaving their time together as peaceful and as harmonious as possible.
After a quick lunch a submissive wife will spend the afternoon tidying the house and preparing for her family to return. The cleaning is done and dinner is started. If she does any work from home or charity work she will get that done in the afternoon as well.
Once her children return home they are given snacks and do homework. All of the children's activities and homework are completed by the time the submissive wife's husband comes home so he can relax after a long day.
When her husband arrives home he walks into a clean house, receives a warm welcome from his wife who is happy to see him and spends some time relaxing while she finishes up dinner. During dinner a submissive wife will attend to all of her family's needs and after dinner will clean up so her husband can spend time with their children.
A submissive wife will organise for the children to go to bed each evening. Her husband may wish to read them a bedtime story but she will dress them for bed, supervise baths and the brushing of teeth and ultimately tuck them in. The rest of the evening is spent with her husband. That time is spent talking, discussing issues and not fighting. The real skill of being a submissive wife is ensuring all communication with her husband is as happy and as calm as possible.
Disagreements are quickly deflated by her, not necessarily through giving in to her husband's point of view but by being willing to do what makes him happy. She chooses to prioritise his happiness over her own and does this willingly, with no expectation from him.
Sex is an experience of love and is shared as often as her husband desires. She is happy to have sex as often as he likes and will always do her best to make it an amazing experience. Sex with a submissive wife is pretty awesome and because their relationship is harmonious, her pleasure is just as important as his.
Each evening ends in a happy and fulfilled state with a kiss and an "I love you".
So, what do you think it would be like to be a submissive wife for just one day, if not a lifetime?