By ROSIE WATERLAND
Oh look at that! We open with Bachie Wiggum doing some sport stuff in a tank top. He looks so sensitive with his muscles and his basketball. Swish bounce sporting talent swish.
Blake keeps shooting Bachie hoops while Osher’s hair heads to Ridge Forrester’s house to give the girls the mysterious date card that is a big mystery that will never be revealed until it is immediately revealed.
Lisa gets the single date, and everybody is shocked that
a ) she got the single date
b) that she is a person who exists on this show.
Seriously – the other girls don’t even come close to hiding their confusion about where the hell this random came from and how she managed to scam some one-on-one time. It’s like they just found out Courtney Love is going on a date with Stephen Hawking.
Blakey Wiggum has obviously forgotten all that stuff he said about real men picking up a women from their homes before dates. Lisa hauls arse in a car to some random waterfront location and finds Bachie standing next to a helicopter. We know he must be good at being around helicopters because he’s wearing aviator sunglasses and there’s lots of close-up shots of his aviator sunglasses.
They fly the helicopter to a field, where they get into some other planes which they fly around for a while, before going in the helicopter again and flying some more. Because Bachelor date.