Hi Iconic / ASOS / sale alert addicts.
My name is Jessica and I have a problem.
Since roughly 3pm yesterday I have been trying to avoid these darn Black Friday sales. Between now and midnight on Sunday, my resolve is crumbling. I am weak.
Globalisation has a lot to answer for. Despite never having ever seen a turkey in real life, let alone a whole one on a dinner table accompanied by cranberry sauce, tater tots, and sweet potato casserole (or so I’ve learnt via American TV), Black Friday sales have permeated our Australian consciousness.
However this year, it’s going beyond the viral videos of crazed American shoppers, Black Friday is officially here and in our inboxes. The Iconic is at 30%, ASOS is doing a sitewide 20% discount, Priceline is already going gangbusters with 50% off all makeup.
It’s a tough time for bank accounts everywhere.
However, if you’re like me and trying, oh so much, to avoid everything, in solidarity, and a meagre attempt at self-restraint and control, here are the seven stages of emotional turmoil that is avoiding black Friday.
Maybe you’re feeling it too?
LISTEN: Stylist Sarah Elizabeth Turner on the wardrobe staples of every stylish person. Post continues after audio.
The emails are coming in, but with your laser-like focus, and determination to save your pennies, they go straight to the rubbish bin. Out of sight, out of mind.
You unfortunately catch a sliver of ‘30% off’ in the email title.
2. Find your people
The excitement is bubbling, friends are sending you texts with way too many emojis, and you can hear a muttering in the office…
“Did you hear ASOS is having a sale?”
“Should I get that lippie from Sephora”
“Omg, I just bought the cutest PJs from Peter Alexander”
RESIST. These are not your people. Find a fellow group of penny-pinchers. Sit with them at lunch, do not associate with anyone else. Embargo the words sale, discount, and all online retail names in a 10 metre radius.
3. AVOID AVOID AVOID
Enter your personal cone of silence. Call in sick, put your phone on airplane mode, actually wear those noise-cancelling earphones that you got at Duty Free before you went to Thailand. Go offline… go outside?
Get creative with your avoidance methods, aka conscious distraction. Learn a new hobby, get really into Candy Crush, deep dive into work.