rogue

A bride-to-be has demanded her guests pay $325 to 'secure' their place at her wedding.

Attending a wedding, as we all know, can be an expensive exercise.

You’ve got the gift, the outfit, travel costs, and in some cases, the accommodation.

And that’s not including the money you may have already spent on an engagement gift, bridal shower, bucks show or hens.

Can you wear white to a wedding? Mamamia staff discuss.

With all that in mind, being instructed to pay a fee in advance for a wedding may rub some people the wrong way.

…Especially if it’s spelled out on the invitation.

This seemed to be the case when one bride-to-be asked her guests to pay $325 to secure their place at her wedding, including her bank details on the invitation.

Posting on parenting site Netmums, a woman explained her sister-in-law’s wedding was going to be a weekend-long affair, a couple of hours away from where they live.

“Invitations recently went out and my husband and I were a little shocked to see that alongside RSVP info was bank details to pay $325 (£180) to secure our place at the wedding!” she wrote.

While she understands the money is for the cost of overnight accommodation at the venue, which she is willing to pay, she feels it’s “bad etiquette”.

“I just feel it’s a bit ‘off’ and bad etiquette. When we got married, immediate family stayed at the venue which we paid for,” she explained.

Especially, she added, seeing as her mother-in-law – equally as shocked by the request – had already footed the entire bill for the accommodation, leading them to conclude that the money would actually be going towards other wedding expenses.

So, in theory, the $325 could actually be paying for things like catering and decorations.

The woman asked the forum to offer their views on the unusual request, with many agreeing it was poor wedding etiquette.

“I think it’s rude yes. She should have at least mentioned to people first so that the bank info doesn’t come as a huge shock on the invite,” one wrote.

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“If it’s not for accommodation then I’d ask what it’s for. If it is other wedding costs then I wouldn’t pay it as it’s just rude,” another added.

“I think it’s incredibly bad manners,” another user commented. “It sounds like a business arrangement rather than a wedding. If I was you, I wouldn’t go, out of principle as much as anything else.”

One was highly critical of the invitation detail, calling it “the tackiest thing [they] had ever heard”.

“That is the tackiest thing I have ever heard. I mean if MIL is already footing the venue costs, how did they even land on £180? Were all the wedding costs to be paid for by them added together and divided by the number of guests?”

Others, on the other hand, were sympathetic towards the bride, adding they could understand her request for payment.

“If it’s to pay for your accommodation it’s not unreasonable, as the venue will want deposits at least, to secure the rooms,” one woman commented.

Another suggested she should have given her guests the option to stay somewhere else.

“I don’t think it’s rude to ask people to pay the going rate for their accommodation if they’re staying in the venue, even if it’s an exclusive use type of venue,” another agreed. “But it should be optional. We had exclusive use of a hotel and gave close family first choice of whether they wanted to stay there first. I’d never have forced them to stay there though.”

Other people were more concerned with how her reaction to the invitation could impact the family dynamic. They advised the original poster to tread carefully.

“Just be a kind and loving sister-in-law and let her get on with organising her wedding however she sees fit,” one said.

“Organising a wedding is incredibly stressful, as you know, and sometimes people make unwise decisions. Don’t make it any more stressful than it is. Just rise above it and let her know that you’re happy to help if she needs you. You’re going to be in each others’ life for a long time.”

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