ASOS is selling a swimsuit that can’t get wet. And we’re still trying to work out why.

Video by Mamamia

Swimwear is apparel to be worn for swimming. We know this – mostly, because it’s right there in the name. But it seems the people at clothing label PrettyLittleThing don’t buy into that literal mumbo-jumbo.

The brand has a swimsuit available via online retail giant ASOS that, and we quote, “cannot be worn in water“.

Made of “bandage-style” Polyester/Elastane – “the kind that stretches” – the $70 item is filed under the website’s swimwear section and is even titled “Swimsuit”. But just don’t, you know, actually swim in it, OK?

The watered-down disclaimer is listed last on the list lauding the cossie’s features. That’s beneath entries like “Bardot neck”, “Colour-block style”, “Studded embellishment” and “High-cut leg”, all of which are entirely apparent in the images, thanks ASOS.

What is not entirely apparent is WHY IN HOT HELL THIS THING EXISTS.

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We can only assume that it’s intended for people who are averse to swimming yet fond of atypical tan lines.

Over the years, ASOS has developed a bit of a reputation for clothing that goes over its customers’ heads. Not literally, because we presume precisely no one actually wore the jumper with no arms or torso. Or the poolside-skirt that somehow makes you look more naked. (See gallery above.)

But TopShop’s clear plastic ‘jeans’ still top the list of bewildering fashion items.

As for the specious one-piece, according to one Twitter user, it comes with a special, limited-time offer: “Buy it now and you’ll get a chocolate teapot free.”

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