Swimwear is apparel to be worn for swimming. We know this – mostly, because it’s right there in the name. But it seems the people at clothing label PrettyLittleThing don’t buy into that literal mumbo-jumbo.
The brand has a swimsuit available via online retail giant ASOS that, and we quote, “cannot be worn in water“.
Made of “bandage-style” Polyester/Elastane – “the kind that stretches” – the $70 item is filed under the website’s swimwear section and is even titled “Swimsuit”. But just don’t, you know, actually swim in it, OK?
The watered-down disclaimer is listed last on the list lauding the cossie’s features. That’s beneath entries like “Bardot neck”, “Colour-block style”, “Studded embellishment” and “High-cut leg”, all of which are entirely apparent in the images, thanks ASOS.
What is not entirely apparent is WHY IN HOT HELL THIS THING EXISTS.
We can only assume that it’s intended for people who are averse to swimming yet fond of atypical tan lines.
Over the years, ASOS has developed a bit of a reputation for clothing that goes over its customers’ heads. Not literally, because we presume precisely no one actually wore the jumper with no arms or torso. Or the poolside-skirt that somehow makes you look more naked. (See gallery above.)
But TopShop’s clear plastic ‘jeans’ still top the list of bewildering fashion items.
As for the specious one-piece, according to one Twitter user, it comes with a special, limited-time offer: “Buy it now and you’ll get a chocolate teapot free.”