After inventing jeans with knee windows absolutely noone asked for, Topshop has doubled down on its commitment to sweat-inducing streetwear with a pair of plastic pants.
Well, jeans actually.
For the cool price of around 100 Aussie dollars, the brand has released these abominations — soon-to-be voted fashion item most likely to leave you with a yeast infection after those damp togs you forgot to take off last time you went to the beach.
WHY, JUST WHY?
The 100% polyurethane (ie. plastic) creations invite their wearers to “think outside the box,” according to the Topshop website.
But all we are thinking about is that episode of Friends where Ross buys the leather pants.
You know what I mean?
In a straight-leg cut, the Moto Clear Plastic jeans boast “classic pockets detailing and are cropped at the ankle bone”, which seems entirely unnecessary as they leave EXACTLY NOTHING to the imagination.
“Ideal as a statement piece for a festival or costume party,” the website gushes, “take the look to the extreme with a bikini and sequin jacket or dress down, layered under an oversize jumper or asymmetric hem dress.”
Listen: The women’s fashion research absolutely nobody asked for (post continues)…
Leaving aside for a moment how overheated one would be pairing these unbreathable sweat factories with a jumper of any kind, how in good conscious can the designers (copywriters?) really suggest wearing bathers under a pair of plastic pants – HAVE THEY NOT HEARD OF THRUSH?
Much like their kneecap-glorifying predecessors, the jeans have caused quite a stir on social media, with shock factor marketing surely the only reasonable explanation for their terrifying existence.
Well played, dudes.
Look, each to their own, style is subjective… ENJOY YOUR FOGGY DEATH TRAPS, LADIES.