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A definitive ranking of Arnott's Shapes from God-level to 'we'd still eat them... but'.

Shapes are one of the great Aussie snacks.

Over 53 million packets of Shapes are consumed each year in this fine nation, which is the equivalent of more than two boxes each. I’ve definitely eaten at least nine other peoples shares in the last 12 months, so you’re welcome Arnott’s.

But let’s be honest: Not all Shapes are created equal.

Hangry is a real thing, so it’s important to always have Shapes nearby. Post continues below video.

Video via Mamamia

Remember the dark days of 2016, when Arnott’s changed the recipe and Pizza Shapes no longer tasted like Pizza Shapes? Thankfully, world order was restored after much public outcry, but there are still a few… questionable flavours.

There have also been other flavours that have come and gone: Chicken Drumstick for example, which if still around would be number one in this writer’s heart.

I still remember the time in 2016 (I told you – the dark days) I ventured to the supermarket and realised my favourite dark green box of Shapes with crackers that were supposed to look like drumsticks but sort of looked like cute little fishies was gone. It was heartbreaking.

We protested at midnight.

Anyway! Here’s a very scientific, official ranking of every Shapes flavour that has not been discontinued from”no, thank you” to “oops, I just ate the whole box”.

Cheese and bacon.

arnott's shapes
Image: Arnott's.
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In any other scenario, cheese and bacon top the list of many people's favourite foods. But... combining the flavours onto small, oven baked crackers is just... no.

These are gross and we all know it.

Savoury.

arnott's shapes
Image: Arnott's.

Possibly the most boring flavour of anything to exist in this world. Chucking a bit of salt on crackers does not qualify them to be named 'savoury', because crackers are savoury by definition! All crackers are savoury! This is an outrage!

Vegemite and Cheese.

arnott's shapes
Image: Arnott's.
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Vegemite is an Australian treasure and that, I respect.

But this is, objectively, not a thing that should ever have happened.

Cheddar.

arnott's shapes
Image: Arnott's.

Cheddar are the shapes you buy when you don't want to offend anyone. They're uncontroversial and just fine.

Nacho Cheese.

arnott's shapes
Image: Arnott's.
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A little blue box of happiness. Cheese is damn good, but if you put the word 'nacho' in front of it, it becomes 10x better.

I'll be honest and say I would personally rank these number one, but I haven't made it official because I was told it would start a riot. This list is for the people.

Barbecue.

arnott's shapes
Image: Arnott's.

This is where I complain about the revised version of the revised version of Barbecue Shapes. They are not the same beautiful hexagonal crackers I remember from childhood.

WHERE IS THE FLAVOUR?

Still, they're top three. Because they're barbecue.

Chicken Crimpy.

arnott's shapes
Image: Arnott's.
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A yellow, tasty cloud. And according to my colleague, you must eat all the little nubs off in a circular motion first.

She's wrong, but that shows you how passionate people are about Chicken Crimpy Shapes.

Chicken Crimpy is sort of... buttery in your mouth and it's probably the largest cracker by area of the Shapes range. Definitely a good thing.

Pizza.

arnott's shapes
Image: Arnott's.

Pizza was always going to be number one and you know it.

It's PIZZA. Pizza is humanity's number one food, so logically it's also going to be humanity's number one Shapes flavour.

Even with a few new recipe mishaps, Pizza Shapes are delicious, flavoursome and small enough that you can fit like, six of them in your mouth at one time.

Whenever in doubt, grab the purple box. You'll never go wrong.

What does your ranking of Shapes flavours look like? Let us know in a comment.

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