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Amy Schumer nailed what it really feels like to be a bridesmaid in your late 30s.

There’s a moment in Amy Schumer’s Netflix special, Growing, that made tears spring from my eyes.

It wasn’t the moment where she described “backing the garage up to the car” during doggie-style sex. It wasn’t even when she finally acknowledged a truth women so very rarely speak about – that sometimes toilet paper gets stuck in our vaginas and that’s OK.

Watch the trailer for Amy Schumer’s new Netflix special, Growing. 

No.

It was when Schumer admitted she was relieved that she probably wouldn’t have to be a bridesmaid ever again, now that she’s reached her late 30s.

For someone who is also in her 30s – and hoping never to have to be a bridesmaid again – that relief is palpable.

“I’m not making any new friends, everybody got married… I was the last one,” Schumer explained. “Because when you get in your late 30s, there’s just no dignity to it, you know?”

The comedian then went on to describe in detail what it feels like to be a bridesmaid in your late 30s.

“It’s like me in a Grecian gown with my ageing cleavage and like a Coachella flower halo, just hoping I’m not the bridesmaid with the biggest arm,” she said while standing side on and holding her arm out from her body.

“Because when people used to get married they were in their early 20s. They had like little 20-year-old bridesmaid’s arms. You’re holding your champagne like ‘Eww, it’s heavy.’

“Now it’s just a sea of turkey legs. It looks like the defensive line for the Bears is in the wedding.”

This bit only made up a tiny portion of Schumer’s Netflix special, but it hinted at a truth that women very rarely talk about – when you reach your mid to late 30s the prospect of being a bridesmaid is absolutely terrifying.

You see, at this point in your life you’ve usually come to a bit of an agreement with yourself. You’ve decided what areas of your life you want to focus on and what you don’t really give a f*ck about anymore.

In your 20s, you strive to be exactly who you think society wants you to be. You chase the latest trends, you want to be a part of every experience, you’ll put up with shitty friends and even shittier dates just so you don’t feel like you’re missing out.

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But by your late 30s, you’re ready to be who you want to be.

Basically, you’ve realised you don’t want to and you don’t have to try so hard.

For many women that means not feeling like you have to squeeze yourself into the latest fashion trends. It means only shaving the parts of your legs that are going to be visible. It means eating a packet of Tim Tams in front of Married At First Sight because you’ve had a tough week and you deserve it. It means saying no when you really don’t want to do something.

You can make all these decisions because you’ve been through the hard years and you’re now in control of your life. You choose how you live your life each and every day.

You can eat the Tim Tams because you’re not trying to wear a bias cut satin dress to the office and you can let go of crappy people because you don’t need everyone to like you.

But becoming a bridesmaid instantly puts you back in a position of vulnerability. All of a sudden you’re being asked to wear a dress that looks hideous on you. You’re being told whether you can wear your hair all up or all down. Someone called Tanya is making you pay an exuberant amount of money for high tea, paint by numbers and penis straws, when you’d much rather curl up on the couch in front of Netflix.

And you know you have to say yes to all of it.

Listen to the Mamamia Out Loud team dissect Amy Schumer’s new Netflix comedy. Post continues. 

In your 20s, you wouldn’t have hesitated to say yes to everything. To wear the ugly dress. To get the fake tan. To keep up with the constant email chain between the other bridesmaids.

But in your 30s, you’re tired, you don’t really care if Tanya is offended, and you just want to spend your spare time doing what you like to do, usually with your arms covered up.

The real beauty of Growing, is how this little moment – and a few others – cleverly pinpoint the difference between being in your 20s and your 30s.

Schumer finishes up her Netflix special with a joke that really nails how it feels to be in your 30s.

“If you’re dating and you’re out there and you’re trying, it’s not that you haven’t met the right one yet, it’s just that you have to wait for them to get tired,” she explains.

Schumer says in their 20s and 30s men are running around having sex with as many people as they can, but by their late 30s they start to get tired – and that’s your moment.

“And that’s when you come along and say ‘C’mon, we’re going to sit on the couch and watch Bravo until we die’.”

You can watch Amy Schumer’s Growing on Netflix now. 

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