There’s a moment in Amy Schumer’s Netflix special, Growing, that made tears spring from my eyes.
It wasn’t the moment where she described “backing the garage up to the car” during doggie-style sex. It wasn’t even when she finally acknowledged a truth women so very rarely speak about – that sometimes toilet paper gets stuck in our vaginas and that’s OK.
Watch the trailer for Amy Schumer’s new Netflix special, Growing.
It was when Schumer admitted she was relieved that she probably wouldn’t have to be a bridesmaid ever again, now that she’s reached her late 30s.
For someone who is also in her 30s – and hoping never to have to be a bridesmaid again – that relief is palpable.
“I’m not making any new friends, everybody got married… I was the last one,” Schumer explained. “Because when you get in your late 30s, there’s just no dignity to it, you know?”
The comedian then went on to describe in detail what it feels like to be a bridesmaid in your late 30s.
“It’s like me in a Grecian gown with my ageing cleavage and like a Coachella flower halo, just hoping I’m not the bridesmaid with the biggest arm,” she said while standing side on and holding her arm out from her body.
“Because when people used to get married they were in their early 20s. They had like little 20-year-old bridesmaid’s arms. You’re holding your champagne like ‘Eww, it’s heavy.’
“Now it’s just a sea of turkey legs. It looks like the defensive line for the Bears is in the wedding.”
This bit only made up a tiny portion of Schumer’s Netflix special, but it hinted at a truth that women very rarely talk about – when you reach your mid to late 30s the prospect of being a bridesmaid is absolutely terrifying.
You see, at this point in your life you’ve usually come to a bit of an agreement with yourself. You’ve decided what areas of your life you want to focus on and what you don’t really give a f*ck about anymore.
In your 20s, you strive to be exactly who you think society wants you to be. You chase the latest trends, you want to be a part of every experience, you’ll put up with shitty friends and even shittier dates just so you don’t feel like you’re missing out.