A disturbing new social media body trend known as the “ab crack” is putting the “six pack” to shame. Social media users who work out A LOT are flashing their “ab cracks” left, right and centre.
Basically it’s what happens to the human anatomy when you have a really flat stomach and then get a six pack.
Let’s take a look at this so-called ab crack and other ridiculous body trends and let’s look at them in “Kardashian”, because they seem to have them all.
1. Ab crack
Stunning model Emily Ratajkowski has the most extreme ab crack discovered so far with comments on her Instagram account suggesting she may have an "abdominal lesion" which could point to a more serious health issues. Others claim she is promoting anorexia.
"Unhealthy. This is an abdominal lesion. These kind of photos are increasing the risk of eating disorders in young people," one Instagram user claimed.
Those Two Girls on when your friend only speaks in inspiration quotes. Article continues after this video.
Models Bella Hadid and Jourdan Dunn are also sporting "ab cracks" and some health experts are pointing to malnutrition as the cause. As opposed to encouraging young women to starve themselves I can't help but want to avoid an "ab crack" as much as possible. They look horrible.
2. Six pack
"Six packs" are so retro, thanks to the "ab crack", however "ab cracks" and "six packs" can often go hand-in-hand, particularly when they are due to intense workouts as opposed to freakishly long-limbed modelesque genetics or starvation, as has been suggested by some.
#Fitspo has long been a hash tag designed to inspire others to increase their workouts however "ab cracks" and "six packs" don't necessarily mean you are any healthier than those without them.
Plus it's winter and what can be healthier than a sleep in and a hot chocolate in weather like this?
3. Thigh gap
Even at my slimmest I have never had a "thigh gap", leading me to adopt a rather strange walking style in my late teens as I attempted to contort my body and trick my mind into thinking I had one.
I didn't, and the prickly heat powder I have to use between my thighs during summer is proof of this.
4. Bikini bridge
If I lie on my back, stretch out really straight and suck in my tummy as hard as I can I too have a "bikini bridge". Sure I can no longer breathe but once the photo is taken and posted onto social media I can breathe out, right?
The "bikini bridge" is another made up body part thrust before us by smug people with prominent hip bones via their #Fitspo social media accounts.
Have them, I say. Have them all - "ab cracks", "six packs", "bikini bridges" - but keep them to yourselves would you? They just look so wrong, especially when someone has the misfortune of having all of them.
5. Back dimples
I read an article suggesting people with "back dimples" achieve better orgasms. I then ran to the mirror, stripped off my clothes and twisted around trying to get a good look at my lower back. I didn't quite make it due to my bones and skin and other annoying hurdles relating to basic human anatomy, so I managed to take a photo of my lower back using my smart phone.
Taking a close look I soon realised I didn't have "back dimples".
Which explains so much.
6. Thigh brows
See those creases above their thighs? They are created when people with wide hips and flat stomachs crouch down while wearing bikinis. They are called "thigh brows" and everyone wants them thanks to the Kardashians.
You can draw them on with eyeliner I have found, which if you carefully shade can look totally natural.
Until you go for a swim and they wash off.
7. Fish lips
"Fish lips" are old-school and there's something wrong with anyone who doesn't want plumper, fuller lips right? Except they look damn uncomfortable.
Thankfully you no longer need painful injections or lip balm that burns to achieve this look. You can simply paint them on, like a clown, using lip kits such as the one Kylie Jenner sells.
And sister Khloe has clearly used.
8. Bubble butt
People have been getting butt implants for years but it's not all Kim Kardashian's fault. We can also point at Jennifer Lopez and Beyonce, and other Kardashian/Jenner siblings.
Except they were born with "bubble butts" or "bucket arses" or whatever you prefer to call them.
Soon enough the trend will change and we'll all want to be lovely and flat like Taylor Swift and then have lots of implants painfully removed.
Or we'll resume brain function, reject all of these RIDICULOUS body standards and simply accept ourselves and our bodies for what they are.
Fabulous and healthy!
And look at photos like this with incredulous amusement, as they should be viewed.