From our childhoods to our adult years, we’re constantly told how we’re ‘meant’ to act as girls and women. Be a “good girl”, be polite, smile more, say “sorry” a million times, wear something sexy, don’t wear something sexy, post that shot, don’t post that shot, don’t do that extra vodka shot, don’t text your ex, don’t ask for that pay rise, don’t swear, don’t talk about your period, don’t wear activewear in public, do wear activewear in public. UGH, TOO MANY RULES.
Screw it. It’s good to be bad sometimes. Not bad like unnecessarily mean. We’re thinking like the women of the comedy Bad Moms, which tapped into that feeling of resisting social pressures to be so damn “good” all the time. Super-woman? Super-mum? Chill out, imperfection is in, perfection is…well, unattainable.
So, with Bad Moms 2 coming up in November, we thought we’d follow the lead of the movie’s stars, Mila Kunis, Kristen Bell and Kathryn Hahn, and make our own rules.
We asked the women of the Mamamia office to share the times in a woman’s life when being bad feels SO. FREAKING. GOOD. We came up with 66 – but we invite you to add yours in the comments section underneath. Our #SorryNotSorry moments, now:
1. Loving The Bachelor and still being a feminist
2. When another tequila shot is a brilliant idea
3. Spending the whole weekend in your PJs and not apologising for it
4. Watching the Kardashians and not apologising for it
5. Social media stalking someone from your past to make you feel better about yourself
6. When you use having your period to get out of exercise/anything you don’t want to do (AMEN)
7. Loving strippers at hens’ nights, but not when you’re the hen
8. Spitting out coriander because GROSS
9. At the movies when you throw your packet of Maltesers into your large popcorn, and not share with your BF
10. Taking a reading star from another child’s reading chart so that your child has more
11. Chucking on a hoodie instead of a bra to get that Saturday morning coffee
12. Buying a ready-made birthday cake from Woolies and adding candles and sprinkles
13. Joining the mile high club when you are over 40
OOPS. via GIPHY
14. When dinner is cheese and wine. Again.
16. Cutting your child’s hair short to cut time out of the morning rush routine
17. When free pizza arrives at work
18. Drinking on a Monday
19. Drinking before midday
20. Dry shampoo for the fourth day in a row
21. Batting your eyelashes to try and get out of a parking ticket
22. Passing off UberEats as your own cooking
23. Going straight to the cafe instead of exercising
24. Getting your Iconic orders delivered to work instead of home
25. Scanning your expensive produce as carrots on the self checkout
26. Putting through expensive nuts as banana chips at scoop and weigh
27. Eating chocolate because it’s 85 percent cocoa
28. Telling the kids that the Easter chocolate has ‘gone off’ so you can eat it in peace when they’re in bed
29. Secretly wanting your child to lose a game of sport so they don’t get to state and cost you $s
30. Getting out of exercise because you’ve washed your hair
So what? via GIPHY
31. Not doing the washing up because you’ve had your nails done
33. Smuggling a goon bag inside a chicken bag and sticking it in the esky when heading to Day on The Green – free alcohol for the day
34. Eating the kids’ school lunch snacks
35. When you have a baby BEFORE you get married
36. Shaving your kid’s hair off when they have nits to avoid treating with the nit products
37. Exploiting your cute child for endorsements to make some extra money for your shopping habit
38. Not taking the bins out because you’re in lingerie
39. Filtering the sh*t out of your social media photo before you post it
40. Getting an entree AND dessert because you’re worth it
You’re worth it. via GIPHY
41. Creating an Instagram account for your dog
42. Giving the in-laws the crappy towels instead of the good ones
43. Eating pre-packed meals for a week
44. When you’re walking your dogs and forget to bring bags
45. Taking the iPad to a restaurant so you and your hubby can actually have a date without the kids interrupting you!
46. Wearing that dress your mum loathes
47. Challenging yourself to how many free food samples you can get in one store visit without buying anything
48. Not answering phone calls because you’re listening to a podcast
49. Hoarding the communal office fruit at your desk
50. Leaving work early to get to a gym class, then deciding to go for a wine with the girls instead
51. Buying clothes online and hiding them from your husband
52. Having a moment to yourself to do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING
Literally doing nothing. via GIPHY
53. Pretending you have a meeting so the grandparents babysit while secretly having a drink with your girlfriend
54. Filling a drink bottle with vodka, lime soda to get you through Saturday afternoon kids’ netball games
55. Giving in to battles with your kids because it’s just “easier”
56. Telling your boss your kid is sick so you can stay home
57. Barbecue chickens count as a roast dinner
58. Agreeing with what your child is saying when you haven’t listened
59. Eating an entire tub of Nutella in front of the TV but finishing it off with a piece of fruit because you know, you’re healthy like that.
60. Lying about your weekend plans
61. Lying about what you did at the gym
62. Lying down instead of going to the gym
63. Lying on your bed while posting on Facebook about going to the gym.
64. Not tipping when you’re overseas because that’s their culture, not yours
65. Justifying drive-through Macca’s when it suits mum’s hangover
66. Every freaking day.
Your turn, now. What feels good to be bad for you? Comment below and we’ll love you as much as we love caramel popcorn, greasy nachos and Frosé.
This content was created with thanks to our brand partner Bad Moms 2.
Grab your girls and get to the movies for the ultimate night out.
Bad Moms 2 In Cinemas November 2.