By KATE HUNTER
My kids have always been healthy, touch wood. The usual coughs, colds, stomach bugs and one Christmas, a memorable case of hand, foot and mouth disease. Ho ho ho.
Occasionally though, it seems they’re afflicted by ailments which neither the medical profession nor Google can explain. I wonder if it’s their diet? My diet? Too much One Direction?
Here’s a summary of the most common conditions that strike my otherwise thriving children. The Mamamia community is a supportive one, so treatment suggestions would be welcome. There may even be variations on these conditions you wish to share.
Quite frankly, I won’t be surprised if this post ends up the basis for an article in The Lancet or similarly regarded medical journal.
1. HEABS: Hot Earlobe At Bedtime Syndrome
Symptoms: Child will complain about going to bed. Overheated extremity may also manifest itself as a burning toe, aching elbow, shivering hair.
Treatment: Child will ask for drinks of water, another round of Where The Wild Things Are, parent getting into bed with them (symptoms will then mysteriously transfer to parent’s back or neck which may in turn require physiotherapy), being allowed to watch My Kitchen Rules. However, there is no known effective treatment. Except sleep.
2. VIL: Vegetable Induced Lethargy
Symptoms: A child planning to set a world record for trampolining is suddenly overcome with sleepiness at the sight of peas. Carrots, corn, mashed pumpkin, beans and broccoli will often have the same effect.
Potatoes have this effect less commonly – especially if served in chip form. The child will sway and yawn. She may gag before saying all she wants to do is have a bath and go to bed.
Treatment: Interestingly, the bath can result in relief of symptoms but parents should be wary as they may reappear again at bedtime.
3. SOSR: Sudden Onset Sandwich Revulsion: The researcher who can find a cure for this one deserves a Nobel prize.