When you first fall in love it is so overwhelming you can hardly imagine falling out of love with that fabulous person. They are your everything. Life is beautiful.
After the “honeymoon period” is over, cracks can begin to appear. As someone who has been married for almost 13 years and together for 18 years, I can say that a healthy relationship heals and repairs those cracks, and can become even stronger.
For others, those cracks are the beginning of the end.
But first, some beautiful stories of true love. Article continues after this video.
There are 14 factors that cause couples to fall out of love more than any others. There’s a lot to learn from each and every one of them to prevent the same thing happening in your relationship.
1. You are passive-aggressive.
It’s a slippery slope from innocent teasing to toxic passive-aggression but as anyone in a long-term relationship can attest, passive-aggression is an easy habit to fall into. Much better than a big screaming match, right? Wrong. In my mind, passive-aggression is the adult equivalent to the toddler tantrum. It involves hostility being expressed through “procrastination, stubbornness, sullen behaviour, or deliberate or repeated failure to accomplish requested tasks” which sound a little to familiar to some. Passive-aggression is one of the most damaging behaviours in a relationship and can kill love faster than the time it takes to change the toilet roll.
2. You allow yourself to be irritated or are irritating.
Don’t let little things about your partner irritate you. Also don’t be irritating. A great way to avoid this is to communicate honestly when you find something irritating and instead of getting upset or angry, adjust the behaviour if you can. Sometimes you can’t help it, and that’s when humour comes in handy. For example, my husband takes three hours to wash the dishes. It’s really annoying. However instead of seething over his lack of speed I laugh over it. It’s actually quite cute how seriously he takes the cleaning of dishes and how thorough he is. See? Just flip it.
3. You forget to feed your relationship.
Taking your partner for granted is a love killer like no other. You need to feed your relationship, pay attention to each other, value each other and make time for each other, even if you are so incredibly busy with important things. Your relationship is the most important thing, the solid base on which you perch your whole entire life. Make plans and stick to them. Thank each other and appreciate each other. Even via text. It can mean the world.