In news that’s shocked precisely no one, a new survey has found a lot of us Aussies aren’t actually sick when we call in sick.
You there, sitting on the couch catching up on Netflix, or enjoying a day at the beach, might be one of them.
Software company, TSheets surveyed 500 hardworking, long-weekend loving Australians, and found only 52 per cent of us are genuinely ill when we call our managers to say ‘we’re not coming in’.
So if we’re not sick, what are we really doing with our extra day off?
According to TSheets, it’s to save up annual leave, go for a job interview, enjoy the nice weather or a day at the beach or to go to an event.
Now, we definitely don’t condone calling in sick when you’re not actually ill, but if you’re going to do it, it’d pay to do it convincingly.
When it’s done right, you’ve scored yourself a guilt-free day of crunchy snacks and elastic-waisted pants.
But if you botch it, chances are you’ll be paying for it for a few weeks thanks to a shitty boss and poor preparation.
So before you send an email soliloquy outlining the monstrous bowel action preventing you from coming into work, take a minute and read through our top five tips to negotiating the delicate procedure that is Chuckin’ A Sickie.
1. Make the call
Choosing the right moment to contact your boss is the most important part to nailing the sick day. Call too early, and you’re a premeditated monster; but call too late, and risk facing the full force of your boss’s Monday morning, pre-coffee fury.
Legitimately ill, or legitimately needing to finish House of Cards series 3, always opt for a call the night before. Make sure it’s after the work day has finished but before they sit down for dinner, and for the love of tracksuit pants DO NOT TEXT MESSAGE THEM – call! Using the sick facemask emoticon will absolutely spell the end of your master plan.
2. Know your illness
In our sophisticated world of Web MD and HotDoc, a simple cough and splutter along with a whimpering “I think it’s food poisoning” ain’t going to cut it. If you’re actually sick, make sure you communicate the symptoms that prevent you from being in an office environment – think germy tissues, contagious coughs, or a headache that makes your computer screen potentially give you a nose bleed.