*** Switches on radio and turns shower on full blast***
A little closer.
Just a little bit more.
That’s far too close, Pam. Back off a little pls.
Now, I need to talk to you about something extremely sensitive and I don’t know who’s listening in or… reading this.
We need to discuss the biggest conspiracy of our time, nay, of all time.
I’m talking, of course, about the great Laurel cover up of 2018.
#LaurelGate if you will.
Yesterday Snapchat personality (and possible government plant) Cloe Feldman posted an audio clip on Twitter.
Along with the clip she asked the simple – and seemingly innocent – question, “What do you hear? Yanny or Laurel?”.
What do you hear?! Yanny or Laurel pic.twitter.com/jvHhCbMc8I
— Cloe Feldman (@CloeCouture) May 15, 2018
The internet promptly exploded.
Which is exactly what they wanted.
You see, the voice in the clip clearly states “Yanny” but some people, obviously planted by the government/the aliens/Will Smith, believe they can hear “Laurel” instead.
Yes, this is “the dress” of audio files.
It’s also possibly the Trojan horse of internet memes, sent here to bring down humanity as we know it.
Having stumbled across the greatest conspiracy of our time this morning, I jumped into action.
Armed with my mobile device, I walked around the Mamamia office and took an intensive poll.
As you can probably gather, I am a Yanny. I am one of the few they haven’t got to… yet.
But the person sitting next to me, the person listening to the exact same audio file, on the exact same device as I am, is trying to convince me they can hear Laurel.
Yep, I’m sitting right next to a… Laurel.
She looks so normal, so harmless, but yet… she’s a Laurel.
I can only hope she’s not reading my screen as I’m writing this and reporting back to them.
LAUREL LAUREL LAUREL LAUREL LAUREL LAUREL
I think I got her off the scent.
After a further investigation, I discovered we have a few more Laurels in our midst.
They are walking among us.
They look exactly like us, but they’ve obviously got to them already.
That’s when I went online and discovered that this Laurel thing is far bigger than anything I could ever have imagined.
So big, it might be too late to stop it.
I heard yanny first….then after 5 or 6 reruns, Laurel
— Isaac Bacchanalist (@ShifterKart) May 16, 2018
IT LAUREL AHSJSNDJSN I CANT HEAR YANNY OR WHATEEVR
— ً (@nagasus) May 16, 2018
I started as a Yanny but now I’m a Laurel and can’t go back :O #yannyorlaurel
— Jake Landa (@jake_landa360) May 16, 2018
No matter what I only hear Laurel. High or low volume. How is anyone hearing Yanny?! Witchcraft!
— Renée (@Renee00000) May 16, 2018
Ngl I had to CLOSE MY EYES to fully hear Laurel the first time and it had me shook, I was so sure I’d only ever hear Yanny or Yanrel
— Lisette (@SheriffJCage) May 16, 2018
As you can gather from my intel, the Laurels are quickly taking over the planet.
Of course, we don’t know yet whether the Laurels will win, but as Yannys it feels like our days our numbered.
By the time you read this it might already be too late.
My only hope is that in years to come, when alien historians are trying to figure out what happened to the human race, they’ll read this and know that us Yannys fought right up until the end.
The Yanny is strong with this one.