Would you rather get eaten by a shark than buy a swimming costume?

That’s pretty much what 46 percent of Australian women have said in a survey commissioned by (wait for it!) a diet product. Because hey, I hate my body so much I’d rather put it in mortal danger than look at it in a mirror, DON’T YOU???

The Herald Sun reports:

WOMEN are more scared of getting into their bathers than of sharks in the water or seeing a snake in the garden.

Forty-six per cent of Australian women have admitted they are dreading wearing a swimsuit on the beach this summer, the fear so great they would rather deal with deadly animals or risk getting eaten by a great white.

A national survey has found 84 per cent of women put on weight this winter, with more than half stacking on at least 6kg. But 82 per cent said they were trying to lose weight in a bid to feel more confident in their cossies.


Asked what scared them the most this summer, 46 per cent said having to get into bathers, 17 per cent said seeing a snake in the garden and 10 per cent said the possibility of sharks in the water. According to the survey of 1242 Australian women by UltraSlim, the main reason for the extra kilos over winter was a lack of exercise and snacking on unhealthy food.

Psychologist Amanda Gordon yesterday dismissed the survey and warned women not to believe it was fashionable to hate your body.

She said the best way to conquer any fear was to “just do it” and not listen to negative women who believed it was normal to dislike your body. “Just do it, get out there,” she said.

“It is normal to put on a little weight over the winter, that is what we do. It is survival and biological. We all look the same.” She said the small survey was not reflective of how many women felt, with many mothers and young girls confident in their own bodies.


I hope Amanda Gordon is right and to add *cough* weight to her argument, I’m going to tell you about my very positive cossie-buying experience. I don’t know if I would say I’d been dreading it but it was probably somewhere between going to the dentist and having a pap smear. Essential but not enticing. Still preferable to snakes and sharks however, so I’m obviously not one of the above-mentioned 46 percent.

Anyway, having heard rumours on the fashion jungle drums that Jets had done some particularly lovely things with their cossies using similar principles to fat-sucking and body shaping underwear, I headed for a store which I knew stocked them. I then grabbed a large armful of one-pieces, bikinis and tankinis and got busy. One hour and two extremely knowledgeable sales assistants later, I was sorted.

At one point, I had a small barney with the lady who tried to make me try on a horizontal thick-striped tankini. ‘Not my colours,” I said. ‘Try it” she insisted. “Um, I don’t like the metal bits on the side” I said. “TRY IT” she demanded. “You’re really very bossy, aren’t you?” I replied. “I’ve seen a lot of cossies tried on in this shop and I know what looks good.”

I do love being bossed around by sales assistants. It makes me feel safe. So I tried it on just to shut her up and waddya know, she was right. Bless her. Add it to the pile.

After three children, I need a little help. My tummy is best covered. Some padding is required for my windsocks, boobs. Thank you Jets (pictured) and Seafolly for delivering both. I actually skipped out of that store with three swimsuits that I love. THAT I LOVE.

Have you bought a new cossie this summer? Do you intend to? Or would you prefer to be circled by a shark while wearing a snake as a hat?


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