Image: Legally Blonde.
There are good dates, bad dates.. and then these.
On a recent thread on Mumsnet, users shared the worst dates they’ve ever been on – and they’ll make your last date that went wrong seem like a dream in comparison.
1. No pet names.
Some people just don’t quite understand the concept of romance.
“The guy who, minutes into our first snog, asked me to hold his ‘love truncheon’. It was as if someone flicked a switch at that moment,” said Marzipanmaggie.
2. Honesty was probably not the best policy.
A conversation about a controversial topic instantly turned into one user’s worst date ever.
“He said ‘I’d never pay for sex, because you never know…’ I’m thinking ‘if the woman has been coerced or trafficked’. He went on ‘if it was going to be any good’,” she wrote. (Watch: The cliches single girls are sick of hearing. Post continues after video.)
3. Teething problems.
Just as things were heating up, they cooled off. Immediately.
“When he took his front teeth out and dropped them in a glass of water full of ‘bits’ on the bedside table,” said fishbits. Gross.
4. Just no.
“He called my vagina a velvet purse… ” said lionheartedwoman. Wow.
5. Big love.
“Finding out about his wife and four kids over the main course. This happened to me with two different men on first dates. But it’s OK apparently, ‘because she really doesn’t mind’. Right. Well I do,” contribued user MrsCaecilius. (Post continues after gallery.)
6. Knickers in a knot.
“I was having dinner with a bloke once on a first date but we weren’t getting on particularly well or anything. We were waiting for the bill when he asked me without a molecule of humour or irony, ‘What colour knickers are you wearing?’ Just as if he was asking ‘So how was your day?” said one user.
“I just sort of chuckled and said something like ‘Grey and baggy, now piss off’. I stormed off, so he had to pay.”
7. Puppy love.
“The first time I slept with him we were doing it doggy position but rather than thrusting in and out he kind of just rocked side to side. I just slowly looked round at him, stunned,” said one user.
8. Mother knows best.
A man who loves his mum is endearing – to a point.