When it comes to beauty mishaps, let’s just say I’ve had some shockers.
Even with all the beauty knowledge I now possess, I am not immune from cutting my own eyelashes or a spur-of-the-moment fringe.
Here’s a look at some of my most shocking past mistakes. Try not to laugh…
1. Frizzy fringes
It was circa 1989, and the biggest hair trend in Grade 4 was spiky hair fringes. From what I can remember it entailed going to the hairdresser and asking them to just hack at your fringe until it resembled a mullet. You’d then apply copious amounts of glitter hair gel to hold it in place.
I don’t know what happened in this photo, but possibly the gel got combed out by one of those pesky school photographer’s assistants who always thought they knew best. Pfft.
2. The first time I dyed my hair…
‘Easily distracted’ often appeared on my school reports, and is probably the best descriptor to my entire schooling years. So naturally when I found myself in the middle of a Year 9 Drama class with a bottle of ‘Chestnut Brown’ hair dye in my possession, who was I to turn down the challenge?
Since ‘dye now, read instructions later’ was my motto, I failed to realise you had to wash out the hair dye after 20 minutes. I left it in for oh, about two hours. As a result I had reddish-pink hair which then faded to candy pink - for months. Even though I’ve had various hair colours over the years, my mother still won’t let me live this one down.
3. Formal hair disaster
Growing up in a suburb on the northwestern outskirts of Sydney in the 90s was problematic for several reasons. The biggest one at school formal time? There was only one hairdresser within a 15km radius. Cue a rushed and tearful drive home as Nathan Szubanski’s mum (the salon owner) decided my Year 12 hair look was to be a halo of curls dumped on top of my head.
I remember my friends all waiting at my house when I arrived with an extra four inches of curls atop my skull, and their faces said it all: Complete Hair Disaster. At the end of the night, I unpinned the afro, and the curls resembled a Drew Barrymore-esque curly bob, which I regret not unpinning earlier in the night.