real life

Woman marries dog because her last husband, the cat, died.

Because love means never having to actually hold a proper conversation with your husband.

A Dutch woman has finally felt ready to move on from her deceased husband, a cat, by committing to marry her dog.

Mirror reported that 41-year-old Dominique Lesbirel’s first cat love was taken too soon from kidney failure, after a happy marriage of eight years.

Dominique speaks of both her previous and current loves fondly. Of Travis, her dog, she said, “He’d steal my shoes and bag while I was swimming and, with it, he stole my heart.”

BUT, we should note here that we think Dominique is in on the joke, and is merely very committed to her pets in a healthy and platonic way.

The fact that she does not condone bestiality and has a long-term human partner confirms this.

BUT, Dominique is an ordained minister and ‘lawfully’ marries people and their pets on her site marryyourpet.com.

BUT we’re fairly sure this website has also been created in jest.

Probably.

Maybe.

To be honest we’re really not sure anymore.

What we do know though is that her encouragement to love and respect pets while also forbidding divorces from them lest the pet becomes abandoned, is both hilarious and admirable.

It’s all very romantic and confusing and that’s probably enough Internet for today.

If you like this, you’ll like:

Two people called Burger and King got married. Perfection.

Don’t eat the last cookie and 5 other tips for a happy marriage.

A very good reason not to find your marriage celebrant in the local classifieds.