For most women, a bout of thrush usually results in a couple of days of insatiable itchiness and a trip to the chemist.
But one woman, feminist blogger Zoe Stavri, rose to the occasion (as any good baker does) and used her excess yeast to, ah, make a loaf of bread.
You know what they say? When life gives you thrush, make sourdough.
The bold baking experiment quickly turned into a social experiment as Stavri began to live-tweet the process and provided the recipe on her blog for those cooking along at home.
Conceding that she had caused “quite a lot of visceral horror” among Twitter users, she explained how she put together the starter for her loaf.
1 small Greek coffee-sized cup of plain flour
1/2 small Greek coffee-sized cup of water
As much vaginal yeast as I could scrape off a dildo I put in my vagina – my estimate is that there was about as much of it as would lightly coat a single tine of a fork, and no more.
- Mix the ingredients together.
- Cover in foil, leave
- The next day, “feed” it 1 small Greek coffee-sized cup of flour, 1/2 small Greek coffee-sized cup of water.
- Cover it back up
- Repeat the feeding
- idk what I’ll do next, I’m only on the third day.
In case you wondered…
“Waking up on Saturday with the familiar itchy burny fanny, I giggled to myself ‘maybe I could make bread with that’,” she writes.
“And that ticked into, ‘well, I’ve always wanted to try making my own sourdough anyway’ and then a ‘fuck, would that even work‘?”
Sadly, what started as a “fatal combination of a slightly perverse sense of humour, a keenly scientific mind, and touch of the thrush”, quickly resulted in a widespread global boycott of sourdough.
Gross or not, the question remains, is the type of yeast that grows in your vagina the same stuff you need to get your bread to rise?
One “pro chef” was skeptical, but a second leapt to her defence:
But Stavri was not perturbed and continued in spite of the naysayers.
“The next update to be posted on the blog will probably be if/when it’s in a state to actually bake bread with (or maybe I’ll try doing crumpets from my crumpet),” Stavri wrote.
I wonder if she’ll make her own Vegemite too?
Find out how it turned out here.