What follows, ladies and gents, is a prime example of what it means to dodge a big, fat, metaphorical man bullet.
A woman in her early 20s has shared a tale to Reddit about how she discovered the bloke she had been crushing on for several months had compiled a pro-con list about her. And so she needs the help of us, the people of the internet, in order to decide what to do next.
But first, the details.
The man in question was her friend’s brother. If we’re honest, that rarely bodes well, but according to our “crushed” poster, “everyone had been super supportive” and encouraging her to “go for it”. Until she found the list lying on a table at her friend’s house.
“The pros list was short – that I’m small and that I’m a ‘human female who might actually want to f**k’ him,” she wrote. “The cons list was much longer and hit a bunch of my insecurities. He made fun of my teeth, my voice, called me clingy (I’ve hung out with the dude ONCE) and girly and annoying, among other things.”
Mr Listy McPrickface also expressed concern that she “has no plan whatsoever”.
“I’ve just escaped from a long abusive relationship and moved back home and am fighting PTSD,” the poster explained.
She’s 26 and dates the same type of guy over and over. How can she break the cycle? (Post continues below.)
It was an eye-opening, crush-shattering discovery – especially given the poster says she’s already feeling “extremely vulnerable”.
“I had no idea he was like this. My feelings for him are obviously gone, but my feelings for myself have taken a huge hit,” she wrote.
“I just can’t believe that anyone would write something so juvenile and cruel. Should I call him out? What do I do now?”
The general consensus among the 500 or so responses was ‘run’.
“Consider this knowledge a gift,” wrote one commenter, “because it sounds like you would have been hurt way more if you’d actually gotten closer to this man-child. Don’t bother calling him out…it won’t help. Just ghost him and consider yourself lucky you didn’t waste time on him.”
But several Redditors suggested she get a bit more creative/vengeful.
“I think it’d be fun to cross the ‘might actually want to f*ck’ part off the list,” advised one responder. “Maybe even write ‘no thanks’ next to it, and just put it back where you found it.”
What would you do?