Up until about four months ago, I’d been single for a little over three years.
From 23 to 26, I met lots of people. I ‘saw’ a few on and off. All of them were around my age, maybe a year or two older, but none of them stuck.
At first, I very much wanted to be single, but once that passed, I just couldn’t find the right person.
My mum insisted that I should date someone older than me, who was a little more ‘mature’ and ‘settled’. And she had a point. I had a habit of finding men who weren’t really all that keen on being in a relationship, which can be quite the hurdle when it comes to, well, being in a relationship with them.
Holly Wainwright, Monique Bowley and I argue about whether or not age matters in relationships, on the latest episode of Mamamia Out Loud. Post continues below.
Without realising it, I’d internalised a set of stringent rules when it came to dating.
He must be taller, which isn’t something I’ve had to worry about much at five foot two. He had to be my age (thereabouts) or older. My twin brothers are two and a half years younger than me, and they will always be babies. I had a ‘type’ which I wasn’t too interested in straying from.
There is a certain madness when it comes to dating. The funny thing about being single, is that literally 100 per cent of your relationships have failed. Whatever you’re doing – whatever criteria you’re setting – absolutely is not working.
But we yearn for what is familiar and comfortable, the two things which will ensure we make the same mistakes over and over.
If you’d asked me a year ago if age matters when it comes to relationships, I’d have answered with an unequivocal ‘yes’. It’s about shared experiences, I would have argued. It’s about being at the same life stage. What would I have in common with a guy five years younger than me? I’ve had my early-twenties-relationships, and most of them were awful.