couples

"Having a wishing well at your wedding is frankly, just poor taste."

The wedding trend that’s making this woman uncomfortable.

I get the idea behind a wishing well at a wedding.

And I know so many people do it now, so maybe I’m the only one with a problem.

I just can’t help but think it’s a little icky to be asking guests for money.

Yes, I know. It’s not like the old days when you put together a “glory box” to store away kitchen utensils, bed linen and the like, ready for your new life, new home and new husband.

But it seems with the end of the old school traditions, we have also seen the end of some basic old school manners.

Nowadays, we’re usually test driving the car before laying down a deposit if you know what I mean (wink wink). So yes, you probably already have a lot of the things you need before the big day.

But there are ways around this.

Thank you so much for the personal, thoughtful, sentimental gift your gave, but we really just wanted cash.

To me, you still shouldn't be asking guests for money. It's really tacky, and if I see it on the invitation, frankly, I'm disappointed.

I'm one of these people who loves choosing a gift for those close to me. I actually enjoy taking the time to find something that I think the other person would like.

Even if there is a registry, you still have some choice in what you give to the bride and groom within a guide of things they would actually like or need, so the couple is still not going to wind up with 43 toasters.

I like to think that in 30, 40, 50 years from now the crystal champagne glasses that I gave someone for their wedding will be used to toast another milestone anniversary.

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Or perhaps the silver engraved photo frame will hold a favourite picture of their big day and take pride on a bedside table for years to come.

I look back often on gifts that I was given for our wedding and think about the person that gave them to us, especially if the gift is from someone who is no longer here. My mother-in-law often does the same some 34 years later.

Cash doesn't give you those kinds of memories and buying something for yourself using the money from a wishing well isn't the same. Often, the gift giver has no idea what their contribution has gone towards. Not very personal in my opinion.

To me, giving money just seems so impersonal

Advising people that you're having a wishing well at your wedding is disappointing because it robs guests of  all of the fun and thought that goes into choosing a present.

Yes, you can still bring a present if there is a wishing well, but you know it's not really what the bride and groom wanted.

So you sign your card, and stop by the ATM on the way to the wedding. So heartfelt.

It doesn't matter if you find a cute little quote online about your wishing well to print on a card, it's still just a little... off.  At the end of the day, you're still just asking people for money.

Isn't the point of a gift being that one person chooses something to give to the other person in celebration of their wedding day?

I really hope people donated to the wishing well. Your phone bill was huge last month.
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I know weddings cost a bomb, but asking for cash in a card kind of makes me feel like I'm having to contribute to the day, fund the couples home loan or contribute to their honeymoon. I don't really think its appropriate and it's not what gift giving is about.

A wishing well also tells the bride and groom exactly how you feel about them, in a very tangible way.

As far as I understand you're meant to put the money into a card with your wishes and deposit it into a classy looking vessel at the reception.

What happens if money is a bit tight that month?

If you were able to get a gift yourself, you might be able to look for a bargain that still had the same sentiment, but really, straight up cash can't lie.

Likewise let's say the wedding is that of a close friend. You want to give them something special, and in wishing well speak, that means big bucks. So you tell them exactly how you feel by depositing a healthy sum in the wishing well.

So then when you get married do they have to match the sum you handed out? I gave you 500 bucks, you gave me 500 bucks, let's just call it even shall we?

Tres awkward really.

I know a lot of people are comfortable with wishing wells, and they are becoming such a popular choice for modern brides and grooms.

Maybe I'm just old fashioned but to me, a wedding gift shouldn't be in the form of bills in an envelope.

How do you feel about wishing wells? Did you have one at your wedding?

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