couples

"Will a third child make me happier? No."

I was so excited to have a baby the first time round, and even the second. But a third?  

There’s one thing no one tells you about having a baby.

One thing you, particularly first time parents, wouldn’t expect but trust me it happens. A LOT.

And it is this.

Scenario: Baby is born. Newborn cuddles. Cuteness. Woohoo I’m a parent. etc

THEN

“So are you having another one?”

“Excuse me? I literally pushed a baby out like 5 seconds ago, why are you asking about another one?”

And from that moment on it doesn’t stop. Ever.

This is how to decorate the perfect nursery for a new baby.

Two babies and almost seven years, my fiancé and I constantly get asked when we are going back for number three.

There are variations to the question but they all essentially mean the same thing.

“Are you going to give *insert baby name here* a brother of sister?”

“The age gap is getting a bit big now you should try for another soon.”

If you have a third child you run out of arms.

And then there are two that I particularly hate:

“But you’re so young, you have plenty of time.” (If I was older would you be telling me to hurry up because I’m getting old….no? Didn’t think so. Age has nothing to do with it. Go away.)

“But don’t you want a girl?” (No. I am one. I know what they are like. I’m lucky to have two beautiful kids no matter the tools between their legs. We got boys. We love them. End of story).

This is what life looks like when you have two under two.

It seems even the broader community care about people having more kids. So much so they’ve done research on it. The London School of Economics and Political Science (LSE) and Western University, Canada have conducted a study on whether having a third child would make you happier.

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Luckily for me, research says no.

The gist of the research is that the first baby brings happiness and joy for the year before and after the birth. The second baby does the same but the extra happiness is reduced by half. The third baby brings… well the third baby brings extra sleepless nights, nappy changes and extra expense.

The study found the happiness from a third baby is negligible, but not in a “we don’t love you” kind of way. More like a “babies are awesome but we already have two so yeh..we know what it’s about” kinda way.

And you know what, I get that.

A mum writes her second child a letter and apologises for...well...everything.

I remember buying my son’s car seat was so amazingly exciting. Now? I would be like, “OMG, am I going to be able to do up the other boosters with this baby seat right next to them?”

And baby clothes. Yes, they are super cute but do you actually realise how many pegs it takes to hang those buggers out?

And as my fiancé always jokes, we only have two hands. One for each kid.

Don’t get me wrong a third child would be loved, appreciated and absolutely adored but that ultimate “OMG we’re having a baby!” would probably be lacking.

I think you know when you’re at that point, when you look at a newborn, cuddle it, smile and hand the baby back to the parent congratulating them on this exciting time. But, on the inside you’re actually thinking, “thank God that’s not me.”

And, as the research suggests, I probably wouldn’t be any happier even if it was.

Do you think a third child makes you happier? How did having a third baby change your life? 

Like this? Try:

How I brought my new baby home, and shut the door on the other.

10 no-nonsense tips to help your child accept the new baby.

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