rogue

"Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's baby will probably be a ginger, so I wrote it a letter."

Dear future royal baby,

Hey. How are you? You’re good, because you are the royal baby, the future child of The Duke and Duchess of Sussex Prince Harry and Meghan Markle.

But that’s not what I wanted to chat to you about today. See, I’ve noticed you have red hair. Actually, it’s more like your dad’s, more gingery, strawberry blonde, if you will.

Side note – if you don’t have red hair, this is really inappropriate and please ignore. But you probably do have red hair because the people will it so, so let’s continue.

Now, there are a couple of words you’ll probably hear tossed around the place regarding your lovely hair.

Like ranga, and ginger. All the rest are crap so don’t even bothering listening to them, OK?

You might also hear that being a ranga or a ginger makes you weird, but I’m here to tell you today that that’s a lie. It just is.

From a purely scientific standpoint, there are so many reasons why being a ranga is bloody cool.

AMY-CLARK-KID
See? So cool. Image: Supplied.

Like how you and I are really rare. Only one or two per cent of the world’s population fall somewhere on the red haired colour spectrum. We're the unicorns of the human race, and everyone loves unicorns.

ADVERTISEMENT

Scientists have also discovered that the gene which keeps people looking young is EXACTLY the same gene responsible for red hair and fair skin, meaning us ginger people are scientifically proven to age better than regular haired folk.

Basically, rangas and gingers look on average two years younger than they actually are. Because you're a baby right now, you already have a baby face... but when you're older, this will come in handy.

We can also produce our own vitamin D… which is actually quite handy considering we can’t go out in the sun all that much... Oh, and we have a higher pain threshold than everyone else too - it's just one of the many superpowers that make us significantly superior to all other humans.

Essentially, we’re genetic ninjas. It's science.

Now, if someone keeps bothering you about being a ranga, even after you've politely informed them of all the facts we just talked about, just remember this:

People literally pay thousands of dollars to try to get the exact colour of your hair. You're rich, so that might not mean much, but it's almost like the your great-great-grandma the Queen selling off one of her corgis just to have red hair.

See Prince Harry as a cute red head baby in the video below. Post continues after video.

Video by MMG

All over the world, thousands of rangas march proudly through the streets, celebrating how special we are, and there are hundreds of Instagram accounts dedicated to how beautiful we are.

We even get a whole day that encourages people to kiss and adore us. I know, right?

Sure, people might call you names for being different (remember, we're unicorns) but who wants to be like everyone else anyway?

Most of all, know that you are one of the most loved little kids in the entire world. Mum and Dad bloody adore you, and so do we even thought we'll probably never meet.

And when your parents are Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, who gives a toss if some peasant at school says something irrelevant about your ginger hair?

They're just jealous.

FROM OUR NETWORK
00:00 / ???