It’s hard, but she’s worth it.
By: Cody Mullins for YourTango.com
Anyone who’s ever been married knows that making a relationship last is hard. When two people marry, they try to build a life together that often involves differences of opinion on living habits, money trouble, kids, and so on. Even something as simple as sharing a toothpaste tube can make a relationship difficult. (Just ask my wife about the importance of squeezing from the bottom of the tube.)
But throw depression into the mix and it transforms the level of marital difficulty from the this is pretty hard category into oh sh*t, this is nearly impossible.
My wife, Casey, and I have been married for 13 years. Like most long-lasting relationships, our marriage has been hard and we’ve faced our share of difficulties and near-misses. Making it to our 13th anniversary (the unlucky 13th anniversary, as my wife would say) wouldn’t have been possible had I not tried really hard to understand and deal with my wife’s severe depression.
The first time I experienced my wife's depression (yes, helping someone through their depression can really only be described as an "experience") was a few weeks after we met. She came over late at night, and without much warning or reason, burst into tears. She cried "ugly tears," as we called them, with every bit of energy within her. I pulled my soon-to-be wife into my arms and we sat together on the couch (while she sobbed) until we both fell asleep.
At the time, I didn’t know what depression was. I had no clue that depression was even a disease, a disease that can take complete control of someone’s mind and wreak havoc. I believed that a person could simply choose to be happy, and I assumed my wife, too, could choose to be happy if she wanted to - and yet, for some unexplainable reason, she was choosing to be sad.