It hurts to type this.
I don’t mean emotionally, I mean physically. My arms are so sore that my typing rate right now is about 0.3 words per minute. This paragraph took over nine minutes.
But this pain was worth the gain.
I did ‘Tough Mudder‘ on the weekend. Me, the girl so lazy, I write articles about it. Me, the girl who once drove to the gym, read her book in the car for an hour, then drove home. Me, the girl who’s already taken two naps by this second paragraph.
An 18km, military-style, mud-filled, wet-shoed, death-defying, so-exhaused-I-might-die obstacle course. I did that. Why? I don’t know, really. A combination of peer pressure and hope. When I first agreed to do it, I thought it would ‘give me something to work towards’ for a few months at the gym. Lol. Rofl. Hardyhaha. You have to go to the gym for that to work.
Thoughts I had doing ToughMudder: – This mud makes me look tanned. – Shit. Def should’ve trained. – Blister tape’s doing NOTHING. – My teeth look so white rn. – Oops. Got mud on teeth. – I wonder what fitness feels like? – HOW THE F ARE WE ONLY HALFWAY – Human bodies are amazing. – Sorry body. – Maybe those people will carry me if I fake a heart attack. – Legit though, having a heart attack. – Sorry again body. – I could be at a winery rn. – Or napping. – Can’t wait for victory cider. – I’ll call it my “never the fuck again” cider. – Almost done? Oh. – Pretty proud of myself. – Self, you have permission to eat hot chips every day forever. – Yeah. High five. – Though, maybe less hot chips would’ve made this easier. – That rock looks comfy. – Finish line!!! – Oh. Get electrocuted first. – Fuck it. Couldn’t be in more pain. – Oh. Could. – Can’t drink cider. Mouth too far away. So glad I did it. So glad it’s over. #ToughMudder2016 #ImAToughMudder #fuckingdead
With absolutely no preparation, except a mellow yoga class one week before, and five days straight of watching Netflix and eating muffins, I got up on Saturday morning and went through four hours and 18km of high-energy torture.
And I’m so glad I did. Here’s why:
5 Things You’ll Learn Doing Tough Mudder
- Your body is capable of so-ooo-ooo-ooo much more than you realise.
This isn’t a “wow I just added another five kilos to my squat press” kind of revelation. You dig so deep during this course, you almost pull out another person (also covered in mud). Usually, I can’t jog for one kilometre – after 300 metres I slow down to a jalk (jog-walk: looks like stumbling from exhaustion but a little bit faster). But somehow I jogged 18km this day. And hoisted myself over walls, and belly-crawled through mud, and swam through ice baths. I don’t even know how I did these things. My body has strength and endurance I’d never seen before.
2. When enough things hurt, you don’t hurt anymore.
In the first quarter of the course, my ankle was hurting, my wet shoes were rubbing, and I had a scrape on my elbow. From about 10km and six obstacles in, everything was so sore that it sort of balanced out. All your joints are wrecked. Your entire body is aching and blistered. What’s that? My knee is bleeding? Meh. Rub some mud on it and LET’S MOVE OUTTTTTTTTTT.