“I wonder what those scientists have been up to lately?” I hear you ponder.
Thank god you asked, because those lab coat wearing guys and gals have been very busy doing some super important scientific research and have finally nailed down the reason men’s boners don’t ~actually~ have bones in them.
What…were you expecting something a little more…seminal?
Apparently, most other male mammals have a penis bone – the technical term is baculum, but that’s not nearly as fun to say. For example, the walrus has a 60cm baculum, while a marmoset’s measures 2mm. But in us homo sapiens, it is completely absent.
Scientists have long held the little-known baculum as one of the most diverse bones in existence. So a group of researchers set out to understand the penis bone’s evolution by pinpointing its presence in mammals through history. The findings have come out in the journal Proceedings of the Royal Society.
It turns the bone has existed in mammals for 95 million years and primates for half of that time, but human males cocked it all up and “lost” theirs because of a little thing called monogamy.
Nice one, guys. Commitment is officially the ultimate boner killer.
Researchers say the baculum helps male mammals “last longer”, which is quite helpful in the wild animal kingdom when you’re trying to stop other male creatures from interrupting you mid-coitus, and poking in to impregnate your mate instead. The bone attaches at the tip of the penis to provide, ahem, structural support.