Literally just 25 things that are every bit as luxurious as tampons.


In case you missed it, tampons are a luxury. Because women are blessed with the wonder that is waking up to the Japanese flag every month, us lucky ladies pay the Australian government a cool $30 million in GST every year.

Now, it obviously goes without saying, condoms and lubricant are not luxury items, and are not taxed as such. Probably because men like them aloe-vera infused “2 in 1 play gel” that comes in an oddly phallic bottle is a goddamn necessity. Opposed to those stupid, unnecessary things that save hundreds of white couches (and jeans, and skirts, and train seats) every year, gel that makes you tingle in your special place is something the people of Australia simply cannot live without.

Ahem. Here are 25 other things that are every bit as luxurious as tampons.

  1. Stepping in a bathroom puddle with your socks on.
  2. Jarrod’s sunburn in Bachelor In Paradise.
  3. Posting a photo and promptly losing three followers on Instagram.
  4. Wearing your hair up for the billionth day in a row because you actually can’t remember the last time you washed it.
  5. Dandruff.
  6. Drinking passion pop.
  7. Getting a parking ticket.
  8. Being referred to as a “bird” or someone’s “misso”.
  9. Realising you have sweat patches.
  10. Not having Spotify Premium.
  11. Visiting any retail store at 11am on Boxing Day.
  12. Forgetting your coffee and then drinking a big, cold gulp.
  13. De-hairing the shower drain.
  14. The selection of men on Tinder.
  15. Conjunctivitis.
  16. Asthma.
  17. The pay gap.
  18. Dropping your phone in the toilet.
  19. Forgetting to pack your work shoes in your gym bag.
  20. Slime.
  21. Stepping on LEGO.
  22. Walking into the bed frame.
  23. Forgetting your sunglasses.
  24. Watching the slow, steady rise of a blind pimple on your chin.
  25. Having your period.

A genius man is suggesting we glue our vaginas shut to solve the whole ‘period problem’. The Mamamia Out Loud team discuss.