Oh. There's a criminal on the run in Virginia and her name is... Cletorious.

For centuries men have struggled to locate the clitoris.

Their search for the most elusive part of the female anatomy has become history’s greatest man hunt.

Many men have entered the arena determined that they will be the one who finally tracks down the mysterious clit, only to leave defeated, wondering where it all went wrong.

Some have even claimed the clitoris doesn’t exist, that there’s some kind of international clit conspiracy.

Many have confused the clitoris with another mysterious creature called the “G-spot”.

But now we finally know the truth.

You see, men have never been able to locate the clitoris because she’s actually on the run in the US state of Virginia.

The clitoris has changed her name to Cletorious Aretha Fry, she’s violated the terms of her probation, removed her ankle bracelet, and not a single man at the Virginia Department of Corrections has been able to locate her.

Desperate to solve this age-old mystery they’ve asked the people of Facebook for help.

And the people have gone rogue, because a) There’s nothing more hilarious than someone being named after genitals and b) Clit puns are fun pls.

Here’s what they have to say:

Her husband’s been looking for her for years.” 

“Scene: (40 men spread out over an open field with flashlights searching for hours) “We have no clues Captain”. Female officer walks in to field and immediately locates the subject. “Jackass’, she was right under your noses!”

“It runs in the family. Her brother, Dick, has been in and out most of his life.”

“That one time a guy finds it and he names a kid after it.”

“She doesn’t look like the type to come quietly.”


“She was sentenced to five years hard labia.”

“I heard she hangs out at a place called the G Spot. No idea where that is or if its even real.”

“Might be time to call in the Secret Cervix.”

“It might take a Private Dick to solve this one…”

“History’s longest manhunt continues…”

If they find her, she’ll likely get off.”

“The Notorious Cletorious V.A.G.”

“My honest first thought was the Notorious C.L.I.T.”

At this stage police have not confirmed whether Cletorious has been found or where she’s been hiding all this time.

But we have a feeling the end of this story will be… anti-climatic. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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